Parents Can Help College Students With the End-Of-Semester Stress Meltdown

December 2, 2020April 29, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

College parenting is difficult. Anyone who has a student headed to college, in college, or recently out of college has realized just how difficult the college parenting job can be. One of the most difficult things about this phase of parenting is feeling helpless at times as you watch your student struggle with something. One of the times when we often see this happening is during that stressful end-of semester period. Parents may see and hear their student experiencing what appears to be a meltdown in response to the pressure and stress that occurs at the end of the semester.

We’ve written an earlier post about helping your student through that end-of-semester push. Although we may often feel helpless, parents can be helpful and supportive in several ways. In this post, we’d like to examine the end-of-semester stress a bit more closely. It may be helpful for us, as parents, to be reminded of exactly what students are feeling and experiencing at this point in the college year.

What causes student stress?

The stress that students feel as the end of the semester nears is very real and is often overwhelming. And this stress is felt by both the best students and struggling students alike. Students often realize that there is more left to do than they realized. They recognize that they may have procrastinated on some projects more than they thought. They worry about deadlines, final papers, projects, presentations, and final exams.

Ten Wise Decisions Your College Student Can Make to Improve Their GPA

January 1, 2022March 9, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

If your college student is struggling academically, they (and you) may be wondering how to improve the situation. You are probably encouraging your student to do everything they can to do better. Most students who are in difficulty — perhaps even on academic warning or academic probation — want to do better, but many do not know what to do. They say they’ll work harder, but they don’t necessarily know how to work smarter. Other students simply make the wrong decisions in an attempt to improve their situation.

Talk to your student about their difficulty. Help them try to analyze what has caused the problem. (This may not be an easy process.) As your student thinks about how to address their situation, encourage them to avoid many common mistakes by considering some of the following wise decisions to improve their GPA.

Should My College Student Consider Retaking a Course?

December 6, 2019March 4, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

If your college student has failed a course, or has done poorly in a course, they may have a question about whether or not they should retake the course. This is an individual decision and will depend on your student’s circumstances as well as their institution’s policies. Some schools may not allow a student to retake a course, some may only allow a student to retake a course in which they have received an F, and some schools may allow a student to retake any course to improve the grade. The best thing would be for your student to discuss the option with their academic advisor.

However, there are some general things that your student might think about before they meet with their advisor. There are some compelling reasons to retake a course, and there are a few reasons why it may not be the best decision for your student.

Is Your College Student Investing Enough Time Studying?

August 18, 2019February 4, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

As a college parent, you probably have very little influence over the amount of time your college student spends studying. That is appropriate, as you begin to allow your student to gain independence and control over his choices and decisions. However, you might help your student understand the importance of investing enough time in his work in order to do well. As a parent, you may be able to help your student think through the realities of how he spends his time. Then, of course, it will be your job to step back and let him find his way.

The college experience is about more than just coursework. College is a time to meet new people, experience new things, and work at gaining independence. But college is also about classes, exams, studying, working with professors, and, hopefully, gaining a wealth of useful knowledge and new ways of thinking. In order for students to succeed, they need to put in the time. Unfortunately, many students either do not understand the amount of time necessary to do well in college, or they do not prioritize the amount of time they need to spend studying.

What is expected?

The general rule of thumb regarding college studying is, and has been for a long time, that for each class, students should spend approximately 2-3 hours of study time for each hour that they spend in class. Many students carry a course load of 15 credits, or approximately 15 hours of class time each week. Doing some simple math indicates that your student should be spending roughly 30 hours of study time and 15 hours in class. This 45 hours is the equivalent of a full time job — the reason that your student is called a full time student. For many students, this number is a surprise.

How Parents Can Help Their College Student in Difficulty

December 28, 2017January 3, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

When your college student began college you both had high hopes and expectations. You knew that there would be challenges ahead, but you both did everything that you could to prepare. Now your student seems to be struggling and having difficulty at college. You may be feeling helpless and concerned for her. Perhaps she hasn’t applied herself to studying, or perhaps she doesn’t understand what is required to succeed in college, or perhaps she has worked hard but is still unable to accomplish what she needs to do.

Whatever the reasons may be, your college student is now struggling and you want to know what you can do to help. Obviously, every situation is different and every family dynamic is different, but here are some posts that may help you as you try to decide how you can help support your student as he works to improve his situation.

What to Do If Your College Student Is on Academic Probation

January 3, 2022November 29, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

No college student heads off to college with the plan to be placed on academic probation and face potential dismissal. Few parents, when they drop their student off for college in September, expect that their student will struggle to the point of being placed on probation. But the reality is that, for many students, their academic work warrants the college officially notifying them that they are in danger of being dismissed. Parents can be a tremendous asset, or can potentially make matters worse, when this happens. Here are some suggestions about how you, and your college student, can cope with academic probation.

Is Your College Student Academically At-Risk?

June 15, 2023November 17, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Colleges and universities want their students to succeed. Whether the institution is a highly selective ivy-league college or an open enrollment community college, schools want to see their students accomplish their goals. Unfortunately, not all students enter college with a level playing field. Some students come to college with qualities that will make it more difficult to succeed. Colleges often work hard to identify those students who may be academically ”at-risk” so that they can help them to overcome potential difficulties. Understanding some of the factors that may place a student at-risk, as well as some of the strategies that colleges may use to help these students will help parents to better support these students.

Who is At-Risk?

It is important to understand that not every student who fits into an ”at-risk” category will truly be at risk. Many students experience significant academic success in spite of tremendous hardships or difficulties. However, research has identified some factors that may create difficulties for students. Some of these factors include:

How Parents Can Help College Students Value Their Mistakes

November 24, 2020November 10, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

No one likes to make mistakes. We know we may not be perfect, but we try not to make too many mistakes — especially what we might consider ”stupid mistakes”. College students don’t like to make mistakes either, but they will probably make some — perhaps many — mistakes throughout their college career. It is difficult, as a parent, to watch your college student make what you might consider avoidable mistakes. The problem may not be the mistakes themselves, but the attitude that both parents and students have toward their mistakes.

Making mistakes is a way of learning. We may make mistakes when we try new things, or stretch our limits. Others may have made the same mistake before us, but we may need to make the mistake ourselves in order to learn from it. It doesn’t matter what others have told us, we need to have the experience ourselves. College is, in many ways, practice for life. College students may stumble and fall at times — sometimes in small ways and sometimes in more serious ways — but, hopefully, they will learn from their mistakes and become wiser. As college parents, we can help our students make sense of these experiences.

This post is not about specific mistakes that students make in college, but rather it is about how parents can help college students accept their mistakes as a valuable part of their college experience and learn from them. Sometimes the mistakes that students make in college may be very serious, and have serious consequences. It is important that parents consider carefully when to intervene. (Hint: it may not be as soon as we think.) Parents need to continue to find the balance between letting go and allowing their student to make a mistake and bear the consequences, and intervening when the student’s health or safety may be at stake.

Helping Your College Student Avoid ”How Do I Tell My Parents?” Fears

October 14, 2023October 28, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Things happen. As college students work at their increasing independence and responsibility, as they learn that some of the choices that they are making are good choices and others are not, as they strive to find balance, as they struggle to accept consequences for their actions, things happen. Some of these things are good things, affirming that your student is growing and maturing and making wise decisions. Some of these things are not as positive, and some may have serious consequences. Some students have poor or even failing grades, some face college judicial or even legal consequences, some face health issues, some face social problems, some face serious money issues, and some simply feel that they’ve made all of the wrong choices at this point in their life.

Whatever may be happening for your college student, it may be magnified at the midpoint in a semester. The reality of midterm grades may be a wake-up call. The urgency of the remaining few weeks may hit. The immediacy of a break or holiday at home with family may dawn. The tensions are increasing as the semester progresses.

No matter what your college student may be experiencing or feeling right now, the second thing that many students worry about may be ”How will I tell my parents?” As parents, we like to think that our college students can talk to us about whatever may be bothering them. However, for many students, concern about family reactions to college difficulties may be adding to an already difficult time. This may be especially true for families that are, or have been, close. Our college students don’t want to disappoint us. They don’t want to let us down. They don’t want to fail at their new found independence.

Should My College Student Consider Withdrawing from a Class?

October 1, 2019October 25, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Your college student has received their midterm grades. They may be pleased and feeling relieved, or may have some cause for concern. Now is the time that your student needs to do some serious thinking about how they will approach the second half of the semester. If all of their grades are good then your student knows that they are on the right track. If some, or all, of their grades are weak, then it is time to think about a new approach.

Your college student may, or may not, share midterm grades with you. If your student has some low midterm grades, they may view this as a failure. You may need to help your student put these grades into perspective and make some decisions about the second half of the semester.

Withdrawing from a college class is not the same thing as dropping a class early in the term. At most institutions, students have an option in the first few days of the term of dropping a class. This is important for students who find that they are in the wrong level of a class, or that the class is inappropriate or of no interest to them. Classes that are dropped at the beginning of the term generally do not show up on the student’s permanent record. Withdrawing from a class later in the term usually results in a ”W” appearing on the student’s transcript. The ”W” has no effect on the student’s GPA (Grade Point Average).