Beginning college is a big moment – for both you and your student. This is an especially big transition if your student is going away to live on campus. Although more students may be doing college from home this fall, the transition to college is still a major shift for both of you.  In fact, it may be even more difficult if your student will be doing college from home.  It just doesn’t feel that different, so it’s harder to remember that this isn’t high school any more.

But whether your student is home, a few miles away, or across the country, there are some important reminders you should share to help them succeed. And a few of these may be good reminders for parents as well.

Please tell your student the following 8 things:

1. “Be sure to check your college email regularly.”

Start now, well before school begins. Email may seem old fashioned to your student, but it is the primary way that most colleges share information with students. This summer especially, as the world around us is constantly changing, it is important for your student to be regularly checking for information arriving from the school. Once the semester begins, this is also the way that most professors will expect to reach students – and expect students to reply. Your student should check their email daily – and respond to messages as quickly as possible.

Note to parents: Most information from the college will go directly to your student rather than to parents. Be sure to ask your student to share important updates with you. Remind your student, too, that checking and responding to email is good practice for professional expectations later. Not many of us could say to our boss, “No, I didn’t see your message or request, I haven’t checked my email in a while.”

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It’s an interesting moment in time.  As we send our students off to college, we’re filled with pride at their accomplishments, excited for the future that awaits them, nervous (maybe even downright scared) about their success, celebrating our freedom from the daily caretaking responsibilities, and feeling the emptiness of the hole they are leaving in our daily lives.

In the swirl of student emotions and the sometimes chaotic preparations to move away, we sometimes forget to honor our own feelings – and to embrace the new adventure that awaits us as well as our student.

Take a moment (or two).  Breathe.  Honor your feelings, but don’t dwell on them.  Find for yourself a perspective that allows you to savor this time – and to move into the next moment.

Here are some quotes that may help.  Not all of them will resonate with you, but find some that do.  Keep them.  Come back to them. Find your own new path.

Congratulations on your new role!  It’s an exciting adventure.

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As you and your student navigate your way through the summer before college, you will have many ups and downs.  There is much to be done, and tensions may run high at times.  It is a summer of excitement and emotion.  There are several things that you can do throughout the summer to help to ease the transition to college.  However, as the actual move-in day approaches, there are some specific things that you, as a college parent to be, can do to help the move go smoothly.

Preparing for the move to college

• Be informed.  Read all of the material that you have received from the college.  Don’t be caught off guard at the last minute because you’ve forgotten something urgent.  Know college policies.  Can your student bring a microwave or refrigerator?  Are pets allowed?  Can he bring his own bed or mattress?  How much extra furniture is allowed? What paperwork will he be expected to bring with him?
• Check specific information about arrival time. Some schools designate a specific time for you to arrive.  If they tell you to come at noon, don’t expect to be allowed to move in at 7 a.m.
• If you are a long distance from the college, consider traveling the day before move-in and staying overnight.  Early arrival for move-in day is helpful and it can be an exhausting day.  It may be easier on everyone if you do your traveling the day before.  If you plan to do this, make arrangements early.  Local hotels may fill early.
• Help your student make a checklist of everything he needs to pack.  Use this checklist as you pack the car.  Do the thinking ahead of time when everyone is more relaxed rather than at the last minute.
• Gather all important paperwork in one place and leave it accessible.  If your student knows what residence hall he will be in, have that information.  If he will need to turn in health forms or financial forms, etc., make sure that they are packed on top.
• Try to help your student not to become overwhelmed.  (This means you shouldn’t become overwhelmed!)  Take things one step at a time.
• Remember that your student will be able to buy some things once he is at school.  It may make sense to wait to see what may be needed or to check with a roommate once he arrives.  You may take your student to a local store – or he will go on his own.  You can also bring some things next time you come to campus. Chances are, he may not need snow boots or skis until after Family Weekend.
• Be prepared to be “dismissed” by your student.  It may be important to him that he prepare and pack on his own.  Step back from the process when necessary, but be prepared to help out if asked.
• Be patient with procrastination.  Packing may seem overwhelming.  And packing makes the whole prospect of college and leaving home finally very real.  Many students wait until the last moments to actually pack.  Be patient.  You are not alone.

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