College Parent Central

The Antidote to “Operation Varsity Blues” Parenting

March 14, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

It isn’t possible to be a college parenting website without addressing the current Admissions Scandal sweeping across our news feeds. Parents have paid enormous sums of money to have their students fraudulently admitted to elite colleges. They have doctored test scores, bribed consultants, coaches and admissions staff. It’s the latest, most outrageous development in the college admissions parental involvement saga.

Parental reputations have progressed from what Laura Hamilton, author of Parenting to a Degree calls “bystander parenting” to helicoptering to snow plow and lawnmower parenting and now to curling and what Dean Julie (Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult) has referred to as drone parenting.

Almost all of us are familiar with helicopter parents who hover over their children to make sure everything is OK – and then swoop in when they need to rescue them. In case you are less familiar with the other terms, snow plow and lawn mower parents push problems and obstacles out of the way or mow down obstacles to clear a path for their students. Curling parents go one step further –warming the ice and reducing any friction to help students slide forward in the direction the “sweeper” chooses. And now, in light of this new scandal, we have drone parents; parents who pick their child up and deposit them where they (the parents) want them to be – sometimes without the student even realizing that it has happened. And for at least one set of parents, that apparently means a trophy school that comes with bragging rights.

The admissions system is flawed, to be sure. It may even be broken. Hopefully, a lot of people will now be looking long and hard at how students are coached, tested, and admitted to schools. This scandal has shone a light on a host of problems, some illegal and many unethical or at least unfair.

But even as we cast blame on the system and its participants, we need to hold the mirror up to ourselves.

Book Review: Generation Z: A Century in the Making

March 12, 2019March 12, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

From time to time, we like to review some of the books available for parents of college students. There is a wealth of literature available to help parents cope with the transition to college and the changes that occur throughout the college years. We’ve offered some lists of recommended reading, and there is something for everyone. Visit our Resources page for suggestions of important books for college parents and their students.

Generation Z: A Century in the Making is the third book written by Corey Seemiller and Meghan Grace about this important generation of students who are our current college, high school, and middle schoolers. We’re just getting to know this generation, but they are our kids, and we’re surrounded by them – at home and now at work. The more we understand them as a generation, the better our relationships will be. We’ve reviewed Seemiller and Grace’s first book, Generation Z Goes to College, but we think this one is important as well.

Generation Z, as defined in this book, includes those students born between 1995 and 2010.

Much like Generation Z Goes to College, this book begins with an overview of generations leading up to Generation Z. As parents, we can find our own generation, or perhaps the generations of our older children and our own parents, to give context to the discussion of Generation Z. Holding the mirror up to ourselves can be an interesting exercise! We like, too, the explanation of how world developments have helped to shape each generation, with a focus on the technology of the time, the societal events, and family relationships. We understand our students better when we remember those world events which shaped their childhoods, and when we remember that our generation has created the society into which they are born.

College Parent News and Views

February 21, 2019February 28, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

The more that college parents know and understand about the college experience, the less we worry and the better we will be able to help our students to succeed and thrive throughout their college career. However, there is an overwhelming amount of information out there on the web. We’d like to help you find some of the information that might be most interesting and useful to you as a college parent.

In News and Views we share recent college related news and sources we’ve found as we do our research. We hope that this feature will help to introduce you to new ideas and to help you keep up with some of the current issues that may affect your college student – and you.

We invite you to read some of the articles suggested below – and to let us know what you think of some of the ideas included here.

Sophomore Conversations – Settling in to College Life

February 14, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

As parents, we worry about our high school senior’s transition to college. We know that this is a big step and we hope that both our student, and we, are prepared.

But even after your student has made those important first transitions to college, there are more changes ahead. Each year of college brings its own phase of development, and the phenomenon of the “sophomore slump” is very real for many students. Parents may be less comfortable with knowing what conversations they should be having with their second year student, but the work isn’t done.

Knowing that the second year of college may be significantly different from the first and being prepared for some changes, or even a potential sophomore slump, will arm your student and may prevent some difficult times. Now that your student has some perspective on college life and studies, this is the ideal time to contemplate next steps. Not all topics are appropriate for everyone, but we’d like to suggest seven possible conversation starters.

College Parent News and Views

January 21, 2019January 31, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

We invite you to read some of the articles suggested below – and to let us know what you think of some of the ideas included here.

Does Your College Student Have a Case of the Junior Jitters?

January 21, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

Most students will agree that the junior year of high school is the hardest. Junior grades are important for college applications. Students are taking difficult courses this year, perhaps upper level math and science, AP or Honors courses. Students are also busy considering and visiting colleges, working on admission essays, interviewing, and beginning to get busy on college applications. It can be exhausting for students – and their families.

But what about the junior year of college? Although junior year of high school may be legend, many students find themselves unprepared for a parallel experience in college.

Much attention is given to the first year of college, the transition, and sometimes the mistakes, that students make. There is growing interest in the second year of college as students settle in and choose a major and/or career path. But after the year of Freshman Folly and the potential Sophomore Slump, there is less often attention paid to the junior year of college, the year of the potential Junior Jitters. But this is an important time in your student’s journey through college.

New Year’s Resolutions for College Parents – and Their College Students

January 7, 2019January 7, 2019 by Vicki Nelson

OK, have you ever had the same resolution for more than one year? You know you have . . . Sometimes it’s because you just didn’t make it happen last time – and sometimes it’s because it’s such a good resolution that you need it again.

This year we’re revisiting some resolutions for college parents and for their students that we posted way back in 2009. We’ve updated some – life has moved on after all. And some are just gems that should still be on our resolution list.

We invite you to take a few minutes to review our list, adopt some suggestions, and add a few of your own. The New Year is a time for new beginnings, so whether you’re about to be a college parent, you’re a new college parent, or you’ve been at this for a while, it’s the time of year to take stock and make a fresh start. And don’t forget to share a few of these with your student as well. A new year also brings a new semester for many students – the perfect time for their fresh start as well.

College Parent News and Views

December 26, 2018December 31, 2018 by Vicki Nelson

We invite you to read some of the articles suggested below – and to let us know what you think of some of the ideas included here.

The College Parent Central Year in Review – 2018

December 20, 2018December 27, 2018 by Vicki Nelson

It’s that time of year when we can’t quite decide whether to look backwards at the year that is just ending or to look ahead at the year about to begin. We probably need to do a little bit of both. Looking back gives us some perspective to look ahead and think about our goals and plans for the New Year based on where we’ve come.

For the past 6 years, we’ve taken time to share some of our reflections about the College Parent Central year just ending. We like the tradition and so we’re taking a bit of time to look back at 2018.

We invite you to take a few minutes to reflect with us, and to think about how you view your role as college parent. Are you just starting your journey? Have you grown into the role over the past year? Where might you and your college student go next year?

Good for Everyone: Why Your Student Should Give Back

December 8, 2018December 10, 2018 by Vicki Nelson

Many high school students spend time volunteering or participating in community service activities as part of their high school graduation requirements. Those who are not required to participate by their school often participate in order to bolster their college applications.

Volunteering, or participating in activities to help others, is always a good thing, whatever the motivation. However, one negative outcome of this requirement is that many students, once they get to college, feel they no longer “need” to volunteer since the school no longer requires participation and their college applications are done. Like participation in extracurricular activities, some students see these activities as a means to an end (college admission) and may not realize many of the other benefits.

Talk about giving back

Help your student think about why volunteering or donating his time to a worthy cause might be a good thing to do. Aside from the benefit to the organization, he will gain much himself.