#125 – Encore Episode – Second Semester of College: The Transition No One Talks About

The transition to second semester of college is so important – and often hidden – that we’ve decided to share this episode again. You and your student may be taken by surprise when the start of the second semester of college seems so difficult. In this episode, Vicki and Lynn explore why some students may experience the “second semester blues” and why some parents feel they need to increase their involvement. We share strategies you can use to calm your fears and help your student make the most of this fresh start.

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We’ve covered a lot of topics in over 100 episodes during the past five years, and some of them are both important and timely at certain points in your student’s academic year. This is one of those episodes.

So this is an encore of an encore episode! We re-released it last January and it has been one of our most popular episodes. Clearly, it speaks to some parents’ concerns following the first semester of college. We’re offering it to you once again. If it’s new to you, we hope it helps. If you listened last year (or the first time we released it in 2020, you might re-listen to be reminded of why this second semester of college is so important.

In this episode, originally released in January of 2020 (#007), we discussed some of the unique qualities of the second semester of college. Just when you think your student is over the hump of that first semester transition, some students, and their parents, may be surprised at some of the emotions and stumbling blocks that this semester can bring. But it is also a wonderful new start for many students.

One topic we discussed was that this is a time when many students think about transferring, although most of those who consider it do not and up making a change. But just weighing the options can be helpful. We mentioned a great book for students and parents by Harlan Cohen, The Naked Roommate. Consider sharing the book with your student (and then borrowing it to read yourself.)

Here are a few articles on topics we mentioned in the podcast.

Talking to Your College Student About Grades

When Your College Student Changes Majors

Friends Along the Way: Your College Student’s Search for Friends

Why Some Parents’ Involvement Increases During the Second Semester

Sending Your Student the Best College Care Package Ever

Don’t forget that you can listen to all of our previous podcast episodes here or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also go to followthepodcast.com/collegeparentcentral to add our podcast so that you’ll receive each new episode as we release it.

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Transcript:

Vicki Nelson: 1:30

Hi everybody. This week is an Encore episode. We’re re-releasing one of our earlier episodes, essential at this time of year. You may have missed it the first time around or maybe it wasn’t relevant for you at that time. It’s about the transition to the second semester of college. You know everybody talks about that first transition that happens in the fall, but there’s another transition during the second semester and it’s a little more hidden. You know everybody talks about that first transition that happens in the fall, but there’s another transition during the second semester and it’s a little more hidden. So here you go, because this is such an important topic. Here’s the second semester of college, the transition no one talks about. We hope it’s helpful.

Announcer: 2:23

Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. Whether your child is just beginning the college admission process or is already in college, this podcast is for you. You’ll find food for thought and information about college and about navigating that delicate balance of guidance, involvement and knowing when to get out of the way. Join your hosts, Vicki Nelson and Lynn Abrahams, as they share support and a celebration of the amazing experience of having a child in college.

Vicki Nelson: 3:01

Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. I’m Vicki Nelson and I am a college professor and a former director of aAademic Advising and I have three daughters who have all gone to college and come out on the other side. We’ve all survived.

Lynn Abrahams: 3:19

And my name’s Lynn Abrahams. I’m a learning disability specialist. I work with college students. I am also the mom of two sons, so between the two of us we have the girls and the boys covered, and we’re here to talk about parenting college students.

Vicki Nelson: 3:42

And today, very specifically, we want to talk a little bit about second semester of college. You know the first semester of college gets a lot of press and a lot of thinking about what goes on. It’s a very busy semester of transitions, of parents worrying, of parents adjusting to the empty nest, parents and students transitioning to new roles and a new life, learning what college is about, both from the student perspective and from the parent perspective. There’s a lot to think about and a lot that goes on in that first semester and then we come to the end of it and we think we’re all done and really there are seven more semesters for many students and sometimes even more than that

Lynn Abrahams:

Sometimes more.

Vicki Nelson: 4:38

So the path continues and second semester has its own sort of nature and rhythm. So we thought we’d talk a little bit about that today. You know everyone’s unique and every student is unique. Every parent is unique and the relationship between students and parents are unique. But there’s a certain timeline, there’s a certain rhythm and some universals for everybody. So it may take some parents by surprise when the second semester seems a little bit difficult, and we think it’s important that you know that you’re not alone. If all of a sudden this has reared its head and you weren’t expecting it, because it feels as though this should be a breeze now and there’s nothing to it and that there shouldn’t be a problem.

Vicki Nelson: 5:31

And because of that no one talks about it. Everyone talked about the transition in the fall, everyone talked about the empty nest, everyone talked about their kids going away to college and by second semester you’re supposed to be over it all and no one talks about it. But we’re going to talk about it a little bit today.

Vicki Nelson: 5:51

We’re going to change that. Because there is a kind of a loss again, just as there was in the fall, but it’s a different kind of loss this time and it’s partially because they for most students they’ve been home for a nice long winter break. Over the holidays. You’ve had them home again, they’ve been back under your roof and you realize how much they’ve changed. We have an earlier podcast about what to expect when they come home for break and that long winter break, and you might want to go back and listen to those and you do realize that the person who came home at winter break is not the person that went away in the fall, and so you’re much more aware of how much your student is changing as time goes along.

Lynn Abrahams: 6:43

I think that impacts our role too, because sometimes we feel that we’re not as needed.

Vicki Nelson:

Ah, yes.

Lynn Abrahams: 6:49

Because they’re going off. You know they’re going back and we don’t. You know we don’t have as much of a role to play. I do remember when my older son went back to college on the second semester and I do remember him saying that he found his people and it felt like he was quite happy to go back and it just reminded me that that’s a little step in the development. You know that, you know our kids are going to take those steps away and that’s a good thing, yeah. But I remember feeling that

Vicki Nelson: 7:27

They’ve lived into that independence a little bit in that first semester and, yeah, they’re going back to their people to their friends and to a life that they’ve begun to put together for many of them,

Lynn Abrahams: 7:42

Yep, sometimes they could go the other way too, and they could be very nervous about going back, and so that could be also a pretty emotional leaving again.

Vicki Nelson: 7:57

And I think we’re surprised by the emotion on both sides because we thought, oh, you know, there were all those tears in September and now it’s routine, but it’s really not too routine yet.

Lynn Abrahams: 8:10

I think any transition can be difficult for at least a lot of students.

Vicki Nelson: 8:15

And you know, as we talk about this, we also have to recognize too that by the end of this long winter break we may be very happy that they’re going back, so don’t feel left out if you’re doing a little happy dance because it’s time for your student to go back to school

Lynn Abrahams:

Right.

Vicki Nelson:

That’s very normal too, and it’s this mix that’s sometimes so difficult and it’s an interesting time for students too, and I think it’s important that we keep that in mind that some students experience a little bit of what we sometimes call the second semester blues. It’s a little bit difficult and really when you think about it it’s a natural reaction. It’s winter and in many places in the country that means it’s cold and it’s dark and you don’t see the sunlight that much. It’s kind of hard to get enthusiastic about a lot.

Vicki Nelson: 9:16

You had this wonderful break that included holidays and family and relaxing time and that’s over. We all experienced that, that post holiday slump a little bit, once all of the celebration and excitement is over. So that long break was wonderful. I mean, how many of us like to go back to work on Monday morning?

Vicki Nelson: 9:37

after we’ve had a long weekend and also the novelty of the college experience is worn off. Students know the hard work that’s ahead of them. That it’s not all fresh and new and celebration, it’s now just move along to the next step and the idea that summer vacation and May just seems a lifetime away.

Vicki Nelson: 10:05

It seems like a long time until they’re going to get a break. So often, both students and their parents are taken by surprise that there’s a lot going on, and so then we panic a little bit because we haven’t heard about this before, whereas we worried about that empty nest. But we knew that was coming, and so one of the things that we can really do is help our students to understand that what they’re feeling, whatever it is, is completely normal, and that other people probably are experiencing it too, maybe not talking about it, but feeling it and that it does usually pass and they come out on the other side.

Lynn Abrahams: 10:49

You know, some of the students who I work with feel very proud of finishing that first semester and feel thrilled that they can do it. I mean, I often tell my students that the goal of their first semester is to end the semester knowing they can do college.

Vicki Nelson: 11:13

So they’re excited to go back.

Lynn Abrahams: 11:14

So they might be very excited about going back. So that’s another.

Vicki Nelson: 11:20

As opposed to that uncertainty in the fall of, can I do it? What’s it going to be like? And now, yes, I can do it. I want to go do it again, and that sense of accomplishment spurs them forward.

Vicki Nelson: 11:37

So, there are lots of specific things. Just to think quickly about some of the things that might be causing concern to students about returning. It’s a return to reality. I’m going to go back and I know there’s going to be a routine. I’m going to have responsibilities, I’m going to have early morning classes, I’m going to have lots of work. It’s the same feeling that, really, that we all feel at the end of a vacation, when it’s time to go back to work, as much as I love my job.

There’s a return to reality. That happens there, and perhaps the optimism of new resolutions have already worn off. We make those New Year’s resolutions and some of us make it through a week or two before we aren’t keeping up with our resolutions. So there may be that and there’s really no fanfare this time. It’s just go. There isn’t a big welcome week and celebrations and a convocation. Really, the honeymoon is over and now it’s just down to doing what you need to do.

Lynn Abrahams: 12:43

And sometimes students walk right into that situation. You know, knowing what the workload is going to be, what the situation is going to feel like, but a lot depends on how the first semester went.

Vicki Nelson: 12:54

Ah, yeah.

Lynn Abrahams: 13:17

And you know if it wasn’t such a great first semester. You know students are concerned and wondering how they can, you know, turn things around, how they can, you know, dig out of or not feel as intimidated, you know, by being in college.

Vicki Nelson:

And that might be. We might, as parents, we might add to that a little bit, maybe unknowingly, because if the first semester didn’t go very well, we might have spent some time over winter break having some conversations with our student, which is a good thing. But now there’s a little added pressure. I expect you to do better this semester.

Vicki Nelson: 13:39

I expect you to turn things around. And so there’s a little more hanging over your head. In that way, some students may be experiencing some second thoughts about their major. They came in the fall saying this is what I want to do, and perhaps and hopefully took a class in that subject, and now they’re having second thoughts and so this thing that I all, through high school, said this is what I want to do isn’t right, but I haven’t found a new passion yet,

Lynn Abrahams:

and sometimes that’s a good thing, because it’s a whole lot better to do that questioning after the first semester than it is after you graduate.

Vicki Nelson: 14:32

Going into senior year and deciding you hate your major is a little bit tough, but it really does make it feel like this is a moment of decision and it’s hard, I think, for students to hit pause a little bit and say, okay, that major’s not right, but I don’t know yet what is and it’s okay if I’m in between for a semester. So it feels like, okay, I need to make a decision.

Vicki Nelson: 14:58

And another thing for many students is, even at middle of this first year they may have some friends who are not going to be returning in the spring that either decided that college is not right, I wasn’t ready, I need a break and so they’re not going to be coming back, or who have perhaps transferred to another college or just failed out for whatever reason. Some of the people that they were close to in the fall are not going to be coming back and it feels a little bit at a loss. And even some friends who are coming back, a student may be thinking a little bit, think more thoughtfully about their choice of friends. It may be time to move away from those friends of convenience from the first semester, of the people who just happened to live down the hall or were in this class and, you know, maybe beginning to think. I need to think a little bit more about who my social circle and friends are.

Lynn Abrahams: 16:04

I think that’s a really common thing that a lot of students make immediate friends when they get to college and then realize when they come back for that second semester that that may not be what they want, and they may also be getting more involved in their major or they want to connect with people who have more similar interests right you know, want to make some shifts, and sometimes that’s a really good thing.

Vicki Nelson: 16:30

Yeah yeah, At the beginning of first semester, one of the major concerns so many students have is will I have any friends?

Lynn Abrahams: 16:40

right.

Vicki Nelson: 16:40

And so anyone that they can sort of grab and connect with works. But then, as time goes along, you begin to question that a little bit.

Lynn Abrahams: 16:50

I think that’s one of the biggest changes in second semester. The first semester was a lot about survival, surviving it. And then the second semester. Changes can occur.

Vicki Nelson: 17:03

Yeah, time to settle down and rethink.

Lynn Abrahams: 17:07

And I think also, you know, they’re coming back from winter break and that could have been a time of some shifting, changes with home relationships. You know, I think sometimes when people go away and then they come back, some of their relationships change. So either a romantic relationship might split up or it might be that old friends don’t quite feel like that’s what.

Vicki Nelson: 17:40

That connection isn’t quite there in the same way

Lynn Abrahams: 17:42

So that could also happen. Connection isn’t quite there in the same way, so that could also happen. And then, of course, there’s being home and hearing everyone else’s stories and hearing how great life is for everyone else that could be. You know, the grass is always greener everywhere else.

Vicki Nelson: 18:01

So between being home and also social media definitely feeds that that people are posting the pictures and the stories of everything wonderful and it does always seem as though, wow, everyone everywhere else is having such a good time. Why am I just having to work so hard? Or? Work so hard to find friends or something.

Lynn Abrahams: 18:22

And I think that that means that sometimes this is the time that students will talk about transferring.

Lynn Abrahams: 18:29

And I think that’s a part of the. It’s often part of the process of settling into college to talk about transferring, because it’s sort of thinking through gee, I can go somewhere else, and then often they choose to be where they are after thinking that through, and sometimes that’s not something to be afraid of. I mean, I think as parents sometimes we get very nervous when our students think oh, they’ve only been in school for one semester and they’re thinking about transferring, and it’s just not unusual at all for students to think that through.

Lynn Abrahams: 19:08

It doesn’t mean they’re actually going to leave, right.

Vicki Nelson: 19:10

Just knowing that you have options helps. You feel as though deciding to stay which many students do, most students do, but the decision to stay becomes an affirmative decision of a choice to do that. So in a lot of ways, with all of these things going on second semester, it really is a much more thoughtful return to college than that first one.

Vicki Nelson: 19:40

Students know what to expect. Some of those are wonderful and some of those are. You know reality, difficult and they have some mixed feelings. But everyone expects you to be settled in and you may not feel that way.

Vicki Nelson: 19:59

So there’s a little bit of a disconnect in that way, which is part of what often causes parents to worry. There’s this interesting phenomenon that happens that often parents’ involvement actually increases during students’ second semester of college. And really, when you think about all the things we just talked about, that’s what parents are seeing, that’s what parents are hearing. There were those good experiences in the fall and not so good. So we have lots of reasons to worry a little bit more and to perhaps want to now step in a little more than maybe we should, because we recognize that our student is experiencing some of those second semester blues. Or maybe grades weren’t very good in the fall and there were other issues. There might have been social issues, there might have been behavioral issues and we say, okay, now we see what college is like, will this continue? We want to step in. Or maybe grades were great in the fall and we want to make sure our student is able to maintain those grades and we’re worried about whether they’ll be able to do that.

Lynn Abrahams: 21:19

You know, another thing that happens second semester is spring break, which can be a crazy time or it depends. Sometimes that’s when our kids want to go take a trip or go places where traditional college students go to do their party thing. So spring break can be. . .

Vicki Nelson: 21:47

And not all students do that But but it’s legend, right, and so, as parents, we’ve heard about it and and seen it in the movies and and all, and so we worry what is what is my student going to want to do for spring break? And the reality is many students just go home or many students do an alternative spring break activity where they go off with a group and they go build houses for Habitat.

Vicki Nelson: 22:10

There are all sorts of things that students do, but there is this little looming thing of spring break that can cause parents to worry a little bit.

Lynn Abrahams: 22:21

Um, and so, if you find yourself getting more involved in the second semester, you know, it’s probably a good time to stop and think through what’s going on and why you feel that way. Um, so, you know, and part of it might just be that, um, your students, um, you know, vent to you, and you’ve heard all the difficult times.

Lynn Abrahams: 22:50

But, keep in mind, remember that you’re the one who gets the most difficult stories. I mean, you’re the safe place and so when students need to vent, you’re the one that they’re going to go to. So it’s a good thing to keep that in mind and keep some perspective, because you’re the safe place.

Vicki Nelson: 23:11

It really is almost a two-sided thing. What students put out very often on social media, on their Instagram and whatever else they’re doing these days, is all the wonderful.

Vicki Nelson: 23:24

, and then what they come home often with for their parents is the venting about the things that are not going so well, about classes and professors and these requirements and the dorms and the food and the lack of social life, or too much social life, and we begin to wonder how students could possibly survive. So there’s lots that’s on our mind as we’re sending our students off and that causes us to want to get a little bit more involved, perhaps during that second semester, and we need to think carefully. Sometimes it’s probably appropriate, but sometimes we just want to think about okay, why am I feeling this?

Vicki Nelson: 24:14

Because no one’s talking about this second semester, but what we also can keep in mind and keep reminding our students of is that this is a fresh start.

Lynn Abrahams: 24:26

Yes.

Vicki Nelson: 24:27

The second semester is you’re at the same place most of the time, but it’s new classes, new professors, maybe some new friends, learning what happened well and not so well in the first semester and now being able to put that into practice. So it is a new beginning and doesn’t need to be more of the same, and students need to be prepared for those mixed feelings as do.

Vicki Nelson: 25:04

We both parents and students, and break has its own stress. So it may feel very good to return, not only for parents who are ready to have their students out of the house, perhaps, but also that students say okay, now it’s time to get back into my normal routine. But a little wiser than I was, in the fall.

Lynn Abrahams: 25:31

And it always feels good to have a fresh start.

I have to say, one of the things I love about working in a college environment is that feeling that every semester begins new, and every semester is a brand-new new start and new, wonderful things can happen. And yet we’re basing, we’re, we’re leaning on the experience we have from that last semester. So students are coming back, you know, having gone through the rhythm of one semester, and so they know more about what’s expected of them and often they’re not as overwhelmed. They know a little bit more about how the social and the academic pieces mesh together. They can build on some of confidence. Again. I’ve had a lot of students who were so thrilled that they’ve made it through that first semester and feeling so good that they want to take that next step forward, whatever that may be.

Vicki Nelson: 26:36

They really gain a lot of college knowledge during that first semester and that can give them confidence, even if the knowledge is now I know what doesn’t work  and I know what not to do and that can make all the difference in how you approach what you do in that second semester.

Lynn Abrahams:

It is a good time to start thinking about getting more involved in the community. Often students spend their first semester again surviving and making sure they can do it.

And then the next semester is a time to get involved get involved in clubs, get involved in the community, in the student government or whatever, wherever they feel like they fit.

Vicki Nelson: 27:24

So many students, when they come in September, first semester, say you know, I’m not going to join any activities, I just want to focus on my studying, and that’s a great goal. But being involved in the campus community actually students who do things like participate in extracurricular activities- and clubs and even who have a small job on campus, academically do better. They need to be a little more focused, and it’s a good thing, and second semester is a great time to start to do that.

Lynn Abrahams: 28:06

I have some students who you know I’ve spent time working with them around how to approach their academics and how to use, for example, use technology to help them with their academics and don’t want to do, you know, try these new ways. But by second semester they’re ready to roll and so they’re getting their books, you know, audio version or they’re deciding to approach note-taking in a different way, or try some kind of new strategy taking in a different way, or try some kind of new strategy.

Vicki Nelson: 28:47

They can focus on one or two new things because they’ve got some other things under control and they know that they can do it. And being involved in the community also changes the way you view your experience, I think, particularly for perhaps some of those students who were thinking about a transfer and as we said earlier that’s it’s not atypical a lot of students start to think about transferring and those are some important conversations. I think you know we have a whole podcast we can do on transferring and thinking about that and they, those students, really need to think carefully about those options and whether that’s really what they want to do. But sometimes just knowing you’re thinking about it opens you up to enjoying your experience a little bit more.

Vicki Nelson: 29:42

I know we’ve mentioned on an earlier podcast about Harlan Cohen’s book the Naked Roommate and there’s a whole story in the title of that one. We’ll put a link to it in the show notes. But he talks about during his first year deciding at mid-year that he wanted to transfer, and just knowing he had made that decision opened up his experience. In the second semester the pressure was off and he had a wonderful second semester.

Lynn Abrahams:

At the same school.

Vicki Nelson:

At the same school. Yes, just because the pressure was off

I think he ended up actually transferring.

Lynn Abrahams: 30:23

I think he did.

Vicki Nelson: 30:24

But I’ve talked to so many students who are juniors and seniors and say I thought about it and I am so glad I didn’t transfer but, just you know, instead chose to participate in more on campus. So it seems a little contradictory I’m thinking about leaving, but I want to do more. But it’s a way to really decide whether the community is right for you and to set some goals for the semester. Here’s what I want to do and here’s what I hope to accomplish, and maybe some of that is around some of those extra curriculars.

Vicki Nelson: 31:01

So we’ve talked a little bit. Well, we’ve talked a lot, I guess, about a lot of the big ideas and the theoretical things about why students might be having mixed feelings, why parents have mixed feelings and may want to get more involved. I think it might make sense to go through a little bit of some strategies, some what are some things that parents can actually do, both to calm their own fears and and to help their student at the same time, real kind of action plan. And so one of the things that we’ve talked about is you know, this is a time to listen a lot, and that doesn’t mean that you need to have an answer or a solution to everything, but just really listen to your student and hear what they have to say.

Lynn Abrahams: 31:57

And remind them that you know that concerns are pretty common the second semester. They’re not alone and that’s part of what happens. It might be a good time to take a look at you know your own expectations for your student. Are they realistic? Are you expecting too much from your students too quickly? Are you you know what are you expecting and remembering that this is a huge transition from high school to college.

Vicki Nelson: 32:37

And it’s still continuing. It’s not something that happens in the first couple of weeks and then they’re done.

Lynn Abrahams: 32:42

And every semester holds its own special little challenges. So, yes, every semester, but think about how you’re supporting your student. This might be a wonderful time to connect with other parents, either online or in person. Talking to other people can be really soothing and calming.

Vicki Nelson: 33:08

And informative. Yes, informative, you get information too.

Lynn Abrahams: 33:11

Absolutely, absolutely. So this could be a great time to do that.

Vicki Nelson: 33:30

And it’s also a good time to perhaps hold back from calling or texting your student more than you have in the past. I think especially if there were some issues in the fall semester, wanting to perhaps stay in closer contact. But giving them that space is really the beginning of that process of showing your student that they can handle things and that you believe that they can handle things, and not to jump in too much. I think it also helps to remember, as they’re getting ready to go and we’re feeling this concern, that often it’s the leaving that’s the hardest, that moment of leaving and we think about dropping them off in the fall when you have to turn and walk away. Or your student turns and walks away. Or I remember dropping my kids off at daycare and nursery school and it was that moment of leaving that was the hardest. And sometimes you know, they were crying, crying, and then I sat in the car and cried and then I called and the daycare provider said, oh, they’re fine. Two minutes after you left they were fine, they moved on.

Vicki Nelson: 34:39

So you know we feel those tugs, but remembering that you know it’s that moment when they go after, after break, and one of the things that you can do is to send them a you know, an absolutely wonderful welcome back to college care package that gets there within the first couple of days of them being back, and just that’s a way of reaching out and being involved and just sending them a message.

Lynn Abrahams: 35:09

And again, remember that our role is to be in the background. Tp listen, point our students towards resources. It’s not our job to call the resources, to call, you know, the school. It’s our job to say to our kids, gee, if you’re struggling, maybe you could go here or go, you know, talk to other people. So our role is, you know, on the back, supporting them, helping them to create, some goals and some action plans,  so that they have sort of a momentum that can make this semester move. You know, if it’s it’s important to talk about last semester again and learn from mistakes, learn from areas of difficulty, learn from, you know, whatever happened. For some students. It may be some challenges with academics. For some students and maybe challenges living in residence halls, living with a roommate, the social piece. It’s really good to you know, talk honestly about some of those things that have happened.

Vicki Nelson: 36:29

And I think, reminding them again and again that it’s a fresh start.

Lynn Abrahams:

Yes, absolutely,

Vicki Nelson: 36:34

And to take advantage of all of these things. I think some students feel perhaps that they’re afraid to ask for help now in the second semester because they’re supposed to know it all by now. And it’s one thing in the middle of September, when I was brand new, if I needed to ask where to find the advising office or where I could get a tutor. But I shouldn’t be asking those things by January and reminding them that it’s still part of that learning curve.

Vicki Nelson: 37:09

And maybe, you know, just encouraging your student to plan some new things, to do some things differently this semester, whether that’s new activities or new ways of doing things, just try something new, shake it up. It’s middle of winter, you know. Do something that’s a little bit different, but not to make any major decisions right now. That time when you first go back in the second semester may not be the time to make a final decision about, perhaps about changing your major or about transferring. You know, just give it some time to settle into that second semester a little bit.

Vicki Nelson: 37:47

Maybe getting an on campus job if they haven’t had an on campus job, not only because it’s a little bit of extra cash, which every good student loves, but also it’s a way to connect with people on campus and get to know people and get to know how things work on the campus, and that’s a good thing.

Vicki Nelson: 38:08

But if it’s winter and there are all of these things going on, and if your student is really seriously unhappy, to encourage them to take advantage of counseling at every school has counseling centers and the people who work in the college counseling centers are used to the rhythm of college life and they’re used to the kinds of issues that college students deal with, and so they’re really equipped to talk with students and help them. So encouraging your student to take advantage of those sorts of things.

So there are some things as parents that we could do to actually feel as though we’re taking some action, but also to remember that there are some wonderful things. We’ve talked about all of these concerns, but there are some wonderful things about that second semester. That newness of classes and professors and ways of doing things is all brand new. The fact that students are returning with all of that college knowledge that they’ve gotten in the first semester. They know how now to survive and to thrive a little more in their college experience.

Lynn Abrahams: 39:30

And they know some of the mistakes that are common to make and how to make changes to avoid them. So this is a it’s a wonderful new beginning to to redo some things.

Vicki Nelson: 39:45

Yeah, if they need to build, build on everything from that first semester.

Vicki Nelson: 39:49

So this is a different kind of goodbye at the end of winter break, as your student returns for second semester, and it may seem a little bit anticlimactic, it’s not that high drama big goodbye that happens in the fall when you first drop your student off. It’s a kind of a send-off that is a little more informed, a little more considered, you know, and in some ways it’s a little more poignant. There’s that emotional thing that’s going on, but it’s another opportunity to savor that moment and recognize it as just another step along in that long journey that continues.

Lynn Abrahams: 40:38

Each step is a step forward.

Vicki Nelson: 40:41

Yes.Sometimes there’s a step backwards and then another step forward.

Vicki Nelson: 40:45

It’s all moving toward that finish line of commencement there, so we hope that you found some useful information here. We hope that you want to join us for some future conversations. If you do, please subscribe to the podcast. Wherever you listen to podcasts and spread the word, share it with some friends and maybe they’ll listen, and then you’ll have some things in common that you can talk about. Visit the College Parent Central website for more articles related to these topics and some show notes. We’ll list some of the books that we talk about, or some of those things, there, and we hope you’ll continue to join us. So till next time. Bye, bye.

 


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