What’s the Difference Between Leave of Absence and Withdrawal from College?

January 13, 2025 by Vicki Nelson

Perhaps your student has had a difficult time at college. It happens – more often than many of us realize. There are many reasons your student may struggle, including academic issues, social issues, health or personal issues. Whatever the reasons, some students can power through, and others may decide they need to take a break from school.

If your student has decided they need to leave school, Withdrawing from college may seem to be the only option. Withdrawal is certainly possible, and is appropriate for many students. But another option may be a Leave of Absence. Before your student makes a final decision about what to do, it is important to understand, and discuss, the differences between Withdrawal and Leave of Absence.

Essentially, a Leave of Absence is a temporary time away from school with the intent to return, while a Withdrawal is a more permanent leaving. Both options are big, and sometimes difficult, decisions and should be considered carefully. They can involve strong emotions, feelings of disappointment, shame, and fear. Your student may feel sad, or numb – or may feel relieved and optimistic about a break and/or a fresh perspective.

Review: The Sleep-Deprived Teen by Lisa L. Lewis

July 29, 2024 by Vicki Nelson

From time to time, we like to review some of the books available for parents of college students. There is a wealth of literature available to help parents cope with the transition to college and the changes that occur throughout the college years. We’ve offered some lists of recommended reading, and there is something for everyone. Visit our Resources page for suggestions of important books for college parents and their students.

The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive by Lisa L. Lewis is a book that should be read by every parent of a teenager. Parents of teenagers probably know (or at least suspect) that our kids aren’t getting enough sleep, but most of us don’t think there is anything we can do about that. After all, they’re busy kids, they love their technology, and schools make demands and have fixed – and early – start times. What’s a parent to do?

In The Sleep-Deprived Teen, Lewis explains how the problem, shares the studies that show what happens when we (all) don’t get enough sleep, describes the consequences of sleep deprivation, and then explains how parents can work to help their children, and teens specifically, get more and better sleep. If you’re not yet convinced that lack of sleep is a problem for our teenagers, this book makes the case.

The Missing Piece in Many Student (and Parent) Orientations

August 29, 2023August 29, 2023 by Vicki Nelson

Most students, and many parents, participate in an Orientation session (sometimes multiple days) at the beginning of the college journey. Colleges work hard to help students and parents understand what to expect, learn about resources, and be prepared for the road ahead.

But for many students and their families, there may be a missing (or under-emphasized) piece – information about campus sexual violence.

It’s a topic that makes many of us, especially as parents, uncomfortable. We don’t like to think about it, we assume it won’t be an issue for our student, and as long as it is at least touched upon during Orientation we assume and hope that is enough.

It may not be.

Why?

Fact: 1 in 4 female students, 1 in 15 male students, and 1 in 5 gender nonconforming students are sexually assaulted during their college year.

Fact: What experts refer to as “the red zone”, the time between the start of the fall semester through Thanksgiving break is a time when more than 50% of all college sexual assaults are statistically found to occur. This is the time of parties, Greek “rush” events and a time when first-year students are particularly vulnerable because of their unfamiliarity with the campus and lack of a strong on-campus support group.

Fact: More than 90% of these incidents are perpetrated by repeat offenders.

Fact: Less than 10% of sexual assaults are reported.

Your Student Needs This Time Over Winter Break

December 26, 2022December 13, 2022 by Vicki Nelson

This article is an update of an earlier article.

Winter Break. Most college students look forward to it – and they get increasingly impatient for it as the semester draws to a close. Students face deadlines they may have ignored, final papers, final projects, final exams, and a generally stressful few weeks as they finish up their term.

Winter Break

Students don’t want this Break, they need this Break. They’ve worked hard all semester and they need a chance to regroup. This winter, no one is sure what to expect. Covid, the flu, and RSV are making everyone a little nervous. We’re inching back to normal and we hope Winter Break will be comfortable and safe for everyone. The next few weeks may prove challenging for everyone. But wherever you are and whatever your circumstances, most students need one thing as this semester draws to a close: time.

Not all time is the same

No matter how long your student’s break from college, they need to fill it with different kinds of time to help them recharge and to prepare to move forward.

Eight kinds of time your student needs

Downtime

The end of the semester can be brutal for some students. Your student may come home and sleep for what seems like days. They may just want to binge watch their favorites, play video games, eat junk food, sleep some more and just hang out.

#073 – Sleep Matters: Why Don’t College Students Get Enough – and Why They Should

September 27, 2022September 21, 2022 by Vicki Nelson

We see sleepy students every day in our classes. Why? They aren’t getting enough sleep. In this episode Vicki and Lynn explore the connections between sleep and learning, the reasons students don’t get enough sleep and what happens when they are sleep deprived. We also share some suggestions to help students make their sleep hygiene a priority. Talking with your student about sleep can help highlight this important issue– and it might even improve everyone’s shuteye!

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Oh, Those Noisy Dorms!

September 13, 2022 by Vicki Nelson

Has your college student complained about the noisy dorms yet? If not, it may be coming. And they may not be exaggerating. Dorms can be wonderful, homey, fun, social spaces – but they can also be noisy and boisterous.

How noisy a dorm is might depend on the school and the culture. There are certainly party schools where there may be more activity and other schools where life may be more laid-back. And the noise level may also depend on the particular dorm at any given school. Different residence halls often have reputations as party dorms, athletic dorms, international dorms, substance free dorms or quiet study dorms.

And just how much all of that commotion bothers your student will depend on their interests and tolerance. Some students thrive on being in the midst of all of the activity and social life while others find it off-putting at best and overwhelming at worst.

College Decisions in the Midst of COVID-19

May 26, 2020 by Vicki Nelson

Making the decision about where to attend college is never easy. There’s a lot riding on that choice. And sometimes, making the decision about whether to head to school right away or to take a gap year can be a tough choice as well. But this year, as we struggle our way through a pandemic, these decisions are harder than ever for many students.

If you and your student are grappling with these important decisions, it may feel as though you are working your way through a fog. You can’t see very far ahead. You may not be sure where you are at the moment. And you aren’t sure what others are doing. You feel alone and not a little lost as you try to find the right path.

What do people think?

As you try to think through your student’s options for fall semester, you may wonder what other parents and students are thinking. What are your options? What way are others leaning?

#018 – Spiritual Health and College Students – An Interview with Rev. Terry Hofmann

December 3, 2021May 20, 2020 by Vicki Nelson

We talk a lot about college student intellectual, social and emotional development, but there are fewer conversations around college students’ spiritual development. In this guest interview, Lynn and Vicki talk with Rev. Terry Hofmann who has served as a Director of Spiritual Life at a small liberal arts college for ten years. Terry brings to this conversation her wealth of knowledge and experience with college students as they explore their spiritual and religious identities. Terry shares ideas for supporting students in the various aspects of spiritual health and wellness.

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Completing the College Year at Home

March 15, 2020 by Vicki Nelson

It seems as though the entire world has gone upside down right now. Life is surreal and not a little bit terrifying. The Coronavirus dominates the news, most events have been cancelled, we’re all staying closer to home, some of us are working from home, schools are closing, and we all wonder what’s next.

If you have a college student, there’s a good chance that they are home, or headed home, possibly for the remainder of the school year. Many colleges are moving their courses online and it’s going to be a whole new world for many college students — and for their families.

We’re all going to be readjusting for the next few days. Everything feels awkward and out of place right now and it may take some time before your student finds their ”new normal.” Stay flexible and go with the flow. Be available for your student, who may want to talk – or may not. Unlike Break, your student isn’t on vacation this time, they’ve just shifted where and how they’ll need to do college — at least for a little while.

Helping Your College Student Cope with Stress

October 15, 2019December 11, 2017 by Vicki Nelson

College students experience a lot of stress. As parents, some of us are acutely aware of our student’s stress levels, and to others of us it may be less obvious. Of course, not every student experiences stress, and some students actually thrive on a certain amount of it; but many college students find that increased pressure or anxiety are part of the experience of college.

Consider some of the following information gathered about student stress as you think about your own student’s potential stress levels. Discuss some of these findings with your student to help them realize that they, and/or their friends, may not be alone if they are experiencing anxiety.

College students experience a lot of stress — but it’s not all bad

The Associated Press and MTV conducted a survey of college students to consider college student stress. They surveyed over 2,200 students at 40 randomly chosen colleges throughout the United States. Although the survey is several years old, the results have not changed much, or may be even more concerning in recent years. Some of the findings of this College Stress and Mental Health poll are included below.

85% of students feel stressed on a daily basis
60% of students at some time have felt stress to the point of not being able to get work done
70% of students have never considered talking to a counselor about their stress
84% of students reach out to friends to help them with their stress
67% of students reach out to parents for help with stress

The good news is that in spite of these statistics regarding stress levels, 74% of students reported feeling very or somewhat happy. Clearly, not all stress is bad.