Not all phone calls are the same.

We have so many ways to communicate with our college students these days that phone calls may be less frequent. According to Barbara Hofer, author of the book The iConnected Parent, parents and students communicate an average of 13.4 times per week — but that didn’t include texting! Many students and parents text each other anywhere from several times per day to once a week or so.

As long as both you and your student are comfortable and agree on the amount, occasional check-ins are good for all of us.

With the ease and immediacy of texting, phone calls (or Zoom, Facetime or Skype) with our students have become more rare. They take more effort and coordination and involve more extended conversations. But sometimes, there’s nothing like hearing the other person’s voice.

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This is the third article by College Parent Central contributor Dr. Lynn Abrahams.  Lynn specializes in college transition and success for students with learning differences.

Julie Lythcott-Haims, in her book How to Raise an Adult (2015), reports that American parents are depressed at twice the rate of the general population. There is no question about it, parenting can be stressful, challenging, and anxiety provoking.

As parents of students with learning differences, we have watched our kids navigate years of school experience. We have been with them through neuro-psych testing, diagnosis, meeting with teachers and special educators. We have shared both the success stories and the brick walls with them. As their parents, we know more than anyone else where the pitfalls could be. This is probably why our own anxiety can swell to explosion when they take that leap to go to college. In fact, it is possible that we could be even more anxious than they are!

I speak as both a parent and as a learning disability specialist, who has worked with college students for the past 30 years, when I say that we need to find healthy strategies to deal with our own anxiety. We will not be able to be supportive to our students if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

There is a reason airline personnel instruct us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves before helping others — if we run out of oxygen we are of no use to anyone else.

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