It’s almost Thanksgiving Break. Students all across the country are preparing to head home for some rest, home cooked meals, and a bit of family time. Parents all across the country are anticipating, bracing themselves, and reading the many articles about what to expect when their student comes home for this important first visit.
But there are some students, and their families, for whom this Thanksgiving will be different. Perhaps your student is attending school too far away to get home for this relatively short break. Perhaps your student can’t afford the costs of travel. Perhaps your student has a job or other commitments that will keep him on campus for this holiday or is an athlete who needs to remain to play an important game.
It may be a difficult time for all of you.
What can parents do?
If your student is one of the many students who won’t be heading home this Thanksgiving, here are a few suggestions to keep in mind:
- Remember that Thanksgiving Break is short anyway, and the longer Winter Break is only a few weeks away.
- Check in with your student to see how he feels about not coming home. Don’t waste time worrying about how your student is feeling if he’s actually fine with not being home right now. Although he may miss being home, he may enjoy the opportunity to practice some new independence.
- Remember that, although the holiday can be wonderful, it can also be hectic and difficult. Your student may simply enjoy a few days without classes, a time to enjoy some peace and quiet and “me time,” and an opportunity to catch up on some work.
- Send your student a special Thanksgiving care package to arrive just before Break. (Remember that some college mail services may not be available during Break, so get your package there before Break begins.) Include food, of course, but also consider a Thanksgiving card, a fun book, a Thanksgiving craft project, a gift card to a local restaurant or store, perhaps a manicure or massage, a new game, or maybe even your Christmas list in case your student wants to do some shopping!
- Ask your student how he’d like to communicate over the holiday. Does he want to Facetime or Skype with the whole family on the holiday or would he prefer a few quieter calls from individual family members? That big everyone-at the-table Facetime call may be difficult for your student if he’s feeling a little homesick. He’ll appreciate your desire to honor his preferences.
What about your student?
Here are a few thoughts to pass along to your student:
- Your student may have the opportunity to go home with a friend for the holiday or at least join a local friend for Thanksgiving dinner.
- Some colleges work hard to provide Thanksgiving dinner opportunities for students who remain on campus. Local families volunteer to host a student, faculty and staff members invite students to join them. This could be a wonderful opportunity for your student to make some new connections.
- Your student may be able to use some of this time to travel locally and see some places he doesn’t have time to visit during the busy semester.
- Suggest that your student find out what will be available on campus during Break. Will the residence halls be open or must he leave campus? Does he need to submit a special request to remain on campus? Will dining services be available? Is there a way to find out who else will be on campus? Does the college plan any special activities, events, or trips for those who remain at school?
- Perhaps your student can gather together with other students to create a “Friendsgiving” dinner.
- Suggest that your student find somewhere to volunteer and think about others for Thanksgiving. Is there a local food pantry or organization that serves dinner to the homeless or others?
If this is the first time that your student will be away for a big family holiday, it will be a big adjustment for everyone. With some forethought, lots of communication, and the reminder that another break isn’t far off, everyone can have a good – although different – Thanksgiving holiday.