From time to time, we like to review some of the books available for parents of college students. There is a wealth of literature available to help parents cope with the transition to college and the changes that occur throughout the college years. We’ve created lists of recommended reading, and there is something for everyone. Check out our Resources and Tools page for suggestions.
In this review, we’ll take a look at I’ll Miss You Too: An Off-to-College Guide for Parents and Students
by Margo E. Bane Woodacre and Steffany Bane. This mother-daughter pair has teamed up to write a book that is useful for both parents and their students. It is a good book to read together – and hopefully have it prompt some conversations.
The most unique feature about this book is its personal nature. Neither author is a college expert, but both have lived the college experience – as parent and student. Both mother and daughter describe how each saw, felt, and learned from the various experiences of the college transition period. The two points of view represent both sides of the transition. The book starts with the senior year of high school and continues through the senior year in college, focusing a chapter on each phase along the way. Stories in the book draw on the personal journeys of both mother and daughter, as well as a few experiences shared by other families and college counselors.
Because the book is co-written by both mother and daughter, each transitional phase is described from differing perspectives. Both mother and daughter face differing challenges as they face the same situation. It is confirming, and sometimes amusing, to read each person’s account of similar situations. Often, the authors emphasize the importance of good communication to make things work.
I’ll Miss You Too uses the metaphor of doors to illustrate the changes and transitions throughout these years. From the Revolving Door of the senior year in high school, through Doors Apart of leaving, the Screen Door of communication, the Open Door of Parents’ Weekend and the Door to the World of studying abroad, each phase is seen as an opportunity. Parents and students alike are urged to see each phase as the closing of one door and the opening of another.
I’ll Miss You Too has some useful practical information, although perhaps not quite as much as some other college transition books. However, it is its simplicity and distinctly personal account that makes it an interesting and helpful read. Clearly, these are an ordinary, and thoughtful, mother and daughter willing to share their experiences. Parents and students can both benefit from this book.
About the Authors
Margo E. Bane Woodacre has twenty-three years experience in the communication, counseling, and educational fields, and served two terms as a Delaware state senator. She owns and operates a personnel training and development business and lives in Wilmington, Delaware.
Steffany Bane is a graduate of University of Miami. She has been the online health and beauty writer for Ocean Drive magazine and is currently a creative copywriter for a major New York City advertising agency.
What the authors have to say about the book
“As we wrote the book, we learned more about each other and how differently we handled many issues. The more we learned and understood, the more open and effective our communication became.”
“This book acknowledges some of the challenges that can exist for parents and children during the off-to-college transition. Nurturing of the parent-child relationship, so critical in a child’s early years, is still important as the child enters adulthood. We, as mother and daughter, have shared how we dealt with our own set of challenges. Writing this book encouraged us to look at our relationship without being judgmental. . . . Hopefully, for both parent and child as they close an important door behind them, they clearly and confidently see the next one that has opened ahead.”
What some others have to say about the book
“Like sitting down for a chat with a neighbor who has been through the process. I’ll Miss You Too offers a candid and friendly story of one particular family’s experiences.”
The Journal of College Admission Counseling
“In my 22 years as an educator, rarely have I seen such a unique book . . . Parents and students will see themselves in this book and realize that they are not alone.”
Beverly Stewart, M.Ed.
President of Back to Basics Learning Dynamics
“This is a unique and fresh approach to dealing with very real college anxieties and family communication issues. The differing perspectives of student and parent are eye-opening and informative. A great book for families to read together throughout the college years.”
Director of College Counseling, Tatnall School
“I’ll Miss You Too was like a trip down memory lane. It touched so many chords in me as I remembered the emotional times. This book also opened my eyes as to what my parents must have been experiencing. For students, it is a must!”
Graduate of the University of Miami
“I recommend buying two: one for you and one for your child! The book has valuable advice on every subject imaginable, even ones that you may not feel comfortable discussing.”
Recent college graduate