14 Suggestions of What to Do If (Not Necessarily When) Your Student Is Homesick

September 3, 2019August 23, 2016 by Vicki Nelson

As parents sending our students off to college we’ve been told to expect that our student will be homesick. (We’ve written a post saying essentially the same thing — and it has some good advice). We’ve been told it’s inevitable. That it might happen right away or that it might take a while, but it will happen. According to UCLA’s Higher Education Research Institute, close to 65% of college students will experience homesickness. So it’s good to be prepared.

Is it really homesickness?

What is almost certain is that most students will experience some unhappiness, stress, and anxiety at some point. It is a natural reaction to being out of your element and in unfamiliar territory. It’s what happens before you become, as Harlan Cohen terms it in his book The Naked Roommate, ”comfortable with the uncomfortable.” But are our students really homesick?

It depends on how you define homesick. Are these students really missing home? Are they really missing us? They hardly talked to us all summer. They’ve worked hard for years to get to this place. Just a few short weeks ago — or maybe days — they couldn’t wait to leave. They couldn’t wait to be out on their own. Is it really home and parents that they are missing?

There is Life After Academic Dismissal! An Inspiring Story

February 8, 2022December 21, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

It’s always satisfying to hear good news, so we want to share an inspiring success story with you. The story comes from one of our readers.

We often receive comments on posts or e-mails from both parents and students. Many of these messages come at a time of difficulty — often around probation or dismissal or other crises. It is often a time of struggle and uncertainty. As often as we can, we offer a few words of encouragement or advice, and most of the time we never know what happens.

Here is a portion of one such comment, received in the summer several years ago on our post What to Do If Your Student is Academically Dismissed.

”Vicki,

First of all, I really appreciate your responses! I have learned a lot just by reading them. I do have a similar issue with being Academically Dismissed. I was attending school and majoring in Gerontology. I attained my Associate in Arts degree prior. I did very well my first 2 semesters, but then some personal tragedies began to unravel my life. . . . Unfortunately, due to my living situation being turned upside down and also my car breaking down and having to buy a new one, school was not feasible. I stopped attending class because I had to go to work. I was a mere 20 credits away from my degree.

“I Don’t Want to Go Back.” When Your College Freshman Wants to Quit

January 19, 2021December 11, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

Perhaps you’ve seen it coming over the course of the semester, or perhaps it has taken you by surprise. Your student came home for what you thought was going to be a few weeks for winter break and announced that they don’t want to return to school when break is over. No one expected this when you headed to school for Move-in Day.

Dissatisfaction with the college experience at the end of the first semester is not uncommon. Several national studies suggest that as many as one third of college students do not return for their sophomore year of college, but there is little data regarding how many of those students leave at the midpoint of their first year. However, both college personnel and first year students know that there are many students who will not be back for second semester.

So you are faced with a dilemma. Your student says they don’t want to return to school. What do you do?

Three Steps to Take If Your College Student Is Forced to Change Major

March 7, 2020June 5, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

Statistics tell us that as many as 75% of college students will change their major during college. Some 10% of students may change their major as many as four times. That is a lot of shifting. However, when we think about students changing their major, we usually think about students changing their mind, discovering a new passion, finding a new field or career interest. What the statistics do not tell us is how many students may change their major — not through their choice: they are not opting out, the choice is being made for them.

Some majors at some colleges and universities have entrance requirements. Other majors have minimum GPA requirements in order to remain in that major. A student who has not done well in one or more courses required for a particular major may be blocked from the major, denied admission to the major, or dismissed from the major. Many departments institute these requirements because they know, from years of experience, that students who fall below these standards will ultimately not succeed. From the college’s viewpoint this makes sense for your student. However, you, and your student, wonder — what happens now? It can be a heartbreaking, and perhaps frightening, situation.

Do You Have a Super Senior? Making the Most of the Fifth Year of College

July 17, 2019May 12, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

To every parent their student is a ”super” kid, whether a senior or not. But the term ”Super Senior” is not necessarily the term that parents hope to hear when referring to their college students.

What is a Super Senior?

Super Senior is the term sometimes used to refer to a student who is a college senior in the fifth, or sixth, year of college. They have already been a freshman, sophomore, junior and senior — and are now a Super Senior — or fifth (or sixth) year college student. One study has suggested that only approximately 39% of students graduate with a bachelor’s degree in four years. The Department of Education actually calculates a six year graduation rate, which comes closer to 59%.

So the term Super Senior is becoming increasingly common. But whether the numbers are accurate or not, or whether five or even six years is becoming the national average for completing a degree, if your student will be spending a fifth year in college, both you and your student should discuss the situation.

How to Tackle Tough Conversations with Your College Student

October 27, 2021January 16, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

There are many reasons you might need to have a difficult conversation with your college student, and the middle or end of the year is often a time when that conversation needs to happen. It might have to do with a poor semester academically, poor social decisions, financial issues, or many other possible situations. Whatever the topic, chances are that you probably dread the conversation. It’s important, it’s necessary, but you know that there are so many ways that it could go badly.

There is no getting around the fact that the conversation is probably going to be uncomfortable, but there are a few things that you can do to help it go more smoothly and to help both you and your student be more comfortable with the outcome. Before you sit down to have that tough conversation with your student, consider a few things.

Your College Student’s Senioritis: Recognizing and Addressing It

January 2, 2018March 25, 2013 by Vicki Nelson

This is the second of two posts about the senioritis sometimes experienced by college seniors. In our first post we looked at some of the roots or causes of your student’s feelings. In this post, we’ll consider what this senioritis may look like and how you, as a parent, might help your student cope.

In many ways, although the causes may differ, college senioritis may look very similar to high school senioritis. Your usually motivated student suddenly loses interest in his coursework, missing classes and deadlines for assignments. He doesn’t seem to care about his work and only puts forth a partial effort. His grades are in jeopardy of slipping and he doesn’t seem to care.

Although it is possible that this may be due to ”school fatigue” after sixteen or more years of school, we discussed in our last post several other possible causes. These causes may lead to other symptoms that indicate that your student is a victim of senioritis.

Is Your College Senior Suffering from Senioritis? 13 Reasons Why It May Not Be What You Think

January 19, 2018March 21, 2013 by Vicki Nelson

This is the first of two posts about the senioritis sometimes experienced by college seniors. In this post we look at some of the roots or causes of your student’s feelings. In our next post, we’ll consider what this senioritis may look like and how you, as a parent, might help your student cope.

We hear a lot about senioritis and high school seniors. It’s that apathy and lack of motivation that hits in the latter part of their senior year when they’ve been accepted to college and they let their guard down and struggle to keep their grades up and stay focused on school. Severe senioritis in that last year of high school could even result in having a college rescind a student’s admission, so it can be a serious ailment.

We hear less about senioritis during the last year of college, but it exists. Often, it looks much like high school senioritis. Your student has been in school now for sixteen or more years, and he is tired of being a student, loses focus and motivation, skips classes, does poorly on assignments, and generally appears unengaged.

When Your College Student Is Struggling Or In Trouble

May 12, 2020March 4, 2013 by Vicki Nelson

You send your college student off to college with high hopes. It was a long road of applications, SATs, essays, and finally decision making. You and your college student have survived and now you are ready to sit back and watch him thrive in the environment that he chose.

Suddenly, things are not going as planned. Your student is struggling and having difficulty. Your student may or may not be sharing details with you, but you sense that something is wrong. You feel completely helpless, and you want to help. This is every college parent’s nightmare.

Your student may be struggling for any number of reasons — from lack of preparedness, lack of motivation, lack of perseverance, too much partying, mental or emotional difficulties, or just plain homesickness. Whatever the reason, you’re at a loss for where to turn.

Here at College Parent Central, we want to help you navigate all of the phases of college parenting, and for many families that includes navigating the dark waters of a student in trouble.

Three Essential Elements of College Parental Support

December 29, 2024January 28, 2013 by Vicki Nelson

As college parents, we want to support our college students. However, defining that support is sometimes more difficult than it seems. Each school is different. Each parent is different. Each student is different and may take a different path. Some students need more support than others at different times during their college career. As a parent, how do you know how best to help your student?

You will, of course, need to find your own way, but there are three essential elements that might provide the foundation of any plan to help your student. Start with these. Think about what they look like for you — and for your family. Then let your plan build from there.

Insist on honesty

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you expect your college student to share every detail of their daily life with you. There are probably some things you’d rather not know. It does mean, however, that you expect your student to be honest — about the reality of their progress in all of its potentially ugly details. If they’re failing a class, they need to let you know. If they are on probation, they need to tell you. If they’ve gotten into some kind of trouble, they need to share that with you. If their credit card is maxed out, they might ask for advice about how to deal with it.