Eight Campus Resources Your College Student Should Know

March 9, 2021May 18, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

Many students heading off to college are thrilled by the prospect of their new-found independence. Although they may be nervous about heading away from home, they are excited about being on their own. However, with this new independence comes the pressure to succeed on their own as well. One important message that parents can give their student heading off to campus is the understanding that asking for help from appropriate sources does not mean that the student is no longer independent, and it does not mean failure.

Many college students hesitate or delay asking for help for many different reasons. Some may feel the need to prove themselves — either to themselves or to family and friends. Some students feel that needing help admits failure. Some do not recognize that they need help. Some do not know how to advocate for themselves or to go about asking for the help that they need. Still others, however, may not be aware of the all of the help and support that is usually available on campus.

As college parents, you can help. One of the first things that parents can do is to help students recognize when they need help. This may mean asking the right questions and probing if you sense that something might be wrong. The second thing parents must do, however, is to help students understand that, while parents are important for emotional support, they may not be the best source of specific help for college issues. Your job, as a college parent, may simply be (although it is often never simple) to direct your student to find the appropriate sources of help on campus.

Five Steps to Help Your College Student Turn Around a Poor Semester

October 13, 2019March 12, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

Perhaps your student has received their midterm grades and is worried. Or perhaps your student has talked with their professors and has been warned that things aren’t going well. Or perhaps your student simply knows that they haven’t done what they needed to do so far this semester and things look bleak.

However your student determines that the first half of the semester has gone poorly, they may be wondering whether it is too late to turn things around. Your student may share their situation with you or may worry about how you will react. Encourage your student to share their situation honestly with you. Help them understand that you want to do whatever you can to help them have a successful experience.

A Five Step Plan to Help Your College Student to Salvage a Poor Semester

November 26, 2021November 7, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

As many college students pass the mid-point in their semester, they begin to realize that the final results this term may not be what they had hoped for. This is a point in the term when some students give up. They may decide to withdraw from a class or drop out of college entirely; or they may simply drift through the rest of the term and wait for the inevitable failure or dismissal. Some students, however, wonder whether they can salvage something from the term to build on later.

If your student is struggling at this point, and is willing to share their situation with you, you want to be able to help them value their mistakes and think about what to do — both immediately and more long term.

First, it will be important that your student decide whether or not they want to salvage anything. Your student may not, and that may prompt a different conversation. But if they want to try, you may need to help them think about whether it is possible and if so, what to do. Many students in this situation feel that they have lost control of what is happening in their lives. The following plan may help them begin to take control once again.

Time for Your College Student to Take Stock, Look Back, and Move Forward — 31 Helpful Posts for November

March 17, 2017November 3, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

As November arrives and we enter the season of holidays, your college student is well past the mid-point of the semester. If your student was a new, first-year student this fall, she is probably feeling that she is past the transition period. If your student is not a new college student, the mid-point of another semester is one more step closer to graduation.

Now that the end of the semester may be in sight, the hard work of the semester also settles heavily on students’ shoulders. Students may also be facing the consequences of some of the choices that they made earlier in the semester, and may need to make some decisions now about the future. This is a good time to take stock, look back, and move forward.

When Your College Student Has a Problem with a Professor

September 21, 2021October 31, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

Hopefully, your college student has a good working relationship with their class professors. The relationship between a college student and their professors, in addition to the formal teaching done in the classroom, is often an important mentoring opportunity. Of course, having a good relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that each professor will be on your student’s list of favorite people, but hopefully, they have at least found how to make each course work.

But what does your student do if things go wrong with their professor? What if they have a serious problem that seems to be getting in the way of success in a course? What do they do then? Perhaps they pick up the phone and call home. This would be a good time to provide that important listening ear, and perhaps some sympathy, but it is definitely not the time for you to pick up the phone and call anyone at school. This is an important time to help your student think through the situation, consider alternatives, and create a plan of action.

Nine Poor Decisions You Hope Your College Student Will Avoid

October 13, 2019October 10, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

College is a time of learning — both in and outside of the classroom. College students will make mistakes and most will learn from those mistakes. Wise students and their parents recognize that mistakes are part of the learning curve, and they respect and tolerate those mistakes. As college parents, however, we hope that our students will not make mistakes that will have a negative impact on their college career.

As a parent, you can anticipate and watch for these nine potential decisions and talk to your student about their choices. Remember, however, that although you may alert your student to these pitfalls, they will ultimately need to make their own decisions — and live with the consequences — but that they will learn from experience.

Can My College Student Dispute a Course Grade?

April 29, 2022May 11, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

For as long as there have been college students and professors, some students have been unhappy with the grades that they receive in some courses. Sometimes a student expects the grade they receive, and sometimes they may be taken by surprise. Sometimes a student knows that a particular grade is coming, but they are unhappy with the grade. Grades are intended to reflect the quality of the work produced and the level of understanding which the student has of the material covered in the class.

Occasionally, however, a student is not only unhappy with the grade they receive, but they also feel the grade is not appropriate; either because it does not fairly represent their work or understanding, or because a mistake has been made. As a parent, this may be one of those situations when you want to jump in and help to make it better for your student. Like so many other situations for your college student, this is one of those times when it is not appropriate for you to step in. If your student feels they have been graded inappropriately in a course, they must consider their options and take any potential action on their own. However, if your student shares their feelings with you, you can help them consider their options.

Helping Your Student With Goal Setting – and Action Plans

January 2, 2018January 7, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

There’s a quote that’s attributed to Yogi Berra that says, ”You’ve got to be careful because if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll wind up somewhere else.” In true Yogi Berra fashion, his seemingly simplistic quote may contain some important wisdom.

For college students, setting goals and working toward them may be a particularly difficult task. Some students may be very career oriented and know exactly what they want in life, while others are undecided about their major and have not yet found their direction. Yet even those students with clear long-term goals may have difficulty defining the shorter term goals that motivate them on a daily basis. Even more perplexing for many students is the task of separating goals from the action plans needed to reach those goals.

Both long-term and short-term goals are important for college students. Having clear goals will help your college student stay motivated, prioritize time and energy, manage his time, see the bigger picture of his college experience, focus on important things, and take pride and ownership in his experiences. Establishing good, clear goals, however, is a difficult task. It requires clarity of thinking and often a great deal of self-reflection. You may need to help your college student think about and identify his goals. Here are a few things to help your student think about as he considers some goals for his college experience — or perhaps just his next semester.

When Your College Student Is Unhappy

September 24, 2019December 15, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

There are good days and bad days for everyone, of course. College students are no different. We hope that our college students will have more good days than bad days. But sometimes, your college student may hit a string of bad days, or may seem particularly unhappy with their college experience. This is one of those times when, as parents, we may feel most helpless. And the reality is that, in some ways, we are. Your student may need to work through the situation on their own. But you can be there, providing that all-important constant support, and perhaps also a bit of guidance.

Once you’ve determined that your student’s unhappiness is just that, and not something more serious that needs intervention or counseling, you can begin to help your student examine and think about the sources of their unhappiness with the college experience. As a starter, it may help if your student understands that it is very normal to feel a low point a few weeks into the semester. The novelty of a new semester is over, the reality of midterms, papers, and expectations hits. The glow of new friendships may also be wearing off. It feels as though things might be better almost anywhere else.

How You Can’t Help Your College Student Stay in School

March 14, 2021December 11, 2010 by Vicki Nelson

Students work very hard to get into college. Students (and their parents) spend years, and countless hours, making just the right list of potential colleges, visiting school after school, studying for SAT or ACT exams, writing college essays, filling out applications, interviewing, and waiting for that all important letter. Students agonize over the decision to find the place where they feel comfortable, attend Orientations, contact roommates, shop and fill their dorm rooms with all of the necessities. Why then, do almost 45% of those students who began with so much hope and so many plans, leave college or transfer schools before they complete their degree?

There are hundreds of reasons why students leave the school where they began their college education. Some students transfer to another school (often losing credits along the way), some dropout entirely, some stopout and return later, and some slowdown and take longer to finish their degree — often as a part-time student. Because, as parents, we are often used to being responsible for the direction our student takes, we may feel responsible when our student tells us that he wants to leave school.

It is important that college parents understand that there are some factors leading to college success that we can control and help with, and there are factors over which no one has control, or the student alone has control. It is important to separate the two categories. In this post, we’d like to take a look at some of the factors that parents can control (a very short list), and some of the major factors that parents cannot control (a much longer list). We hope that this will help parents understand how varied the reasons for leaving school may be, and also help parents discuss reasons with their college student and help support the college student who may be struggling to succeed.