Regular phone conversations with your college student are a great way to stay in touch with what is happening in your student’s life – and for her to stay in touch with life at home. Even if you keep up with each other via e-mail, text, or some other electronic medium, there is nothing quite like hearing each other’s voice. However, just because the technology allows us instant contact, it doesn’t mean that every conversation will be satisfying. Here are some suggestions that will help to maximize your conversations with your college student.
Make it routine.
Although spontaneous conversations are good, consider setting up a regular time for your student to phone you. Let your student phone you, rather than you making the call, so that she will choose a time when she is available for a conversation. Reaching her while she is at dinner with her friends may not be very satisfying for anyone.
One perennial dilemma is finding the balance of how much contact is the right amount. While it may seem reassuring, as a parent, to talk to your child daily, or even multiple times a day, after those first few days of transition are over, moving away from such frequent conversations will help your student settle into life at college. Perhaps talking weekly might allow you to touch bases and check in.
Some students resist phoning home once a week. If that is the case, suggest that she do it for your benefit. Some students naturally phone home when they have a problem, or are feeling sad or homesick, or have something wonderful to celebrate. For others, this may not be as easy. When you set up a regular schedule, your student has an opportunity to phone home “because my parents insist” and it becomes a regular time to talk. She doesn’t have to admit that she wants to hear your voice, or see phoning home as a sign of dependence.