Book Review: Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years

December 17, 2021July 16, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

There are many good books and resources available for college parents. Each book takes a slightly different approach to the process of sending your child off to college – and surviving the transition. We’ve provided a Resources and Tools page for suggestions. However, in addition to providing titles, we’d like to introduce you to some of the books. We plan to review one book each month over the next several months. We hope this will give you some insight into the books, and provide guidance as you choose some titles to read.

In this first review, we’ll look at one of the seminal titles in college parenting: Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger. This book is a comprehensive, thoughtful, and practical guide for parents of college students or soon-to-be college students. In fact, it would be most helpful to read this book during a student’s junior year in high school as it covers the college application process as well as the transition to college itself.

How Parents Can Help Make College Move-In Day A Success

July 25, 2018July 14, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

After all of the months, and years, of preparing, it’s finally here! As college move-in day approaches, parents recognize the reality of having their student actually head off to college. Somehow, you know your student will eventually get packed, you will manage to fit everything in the car, and your student will finally end up settled in his room. But the process may seem daunting.

Move-in day will go more smoothly if you have prepared well at home. You can help your student be organized about packing and preparing for the big move. However, no matter how well prepared you are, move-in day will be a new experience for all of you.

Your student’s college may send you some information ahead of time, and they will probably do everything they can to help you navigate the day, but here are some suggestions that may help to make the day – and the transition – go more smoothly.

Preparing For Your College Freshman’s Move To College

July 25, 2018July 13, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

As you and your college student navigate your way through the summer before heading off to college, you will have many ups and downs. There is much to be done, and tensions may run high at times. It is a summer of excitement and emotion. There are several things that you can do throughout the summer to help to ease the transition to college. However, as the actual move-in day approaches, there are some specific things that you, as a college parent to be, can do to help the move go smoothly.

Be informed. Read all of the material that you have received from the college. Don’t be caught off guard at the last minute because you’ve forgotten something urgent. Know college policies. Can your student bring a microwave or refrigerator? Are pets allowed? What is the college alcohol policy? Can he bring his own bed or mattress? How much extra furniture is allowed?
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Eight Life Skills You Should Teach Your College Freshman Before They Head to College

June 22, 2022July 9, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

We send our students off to college to get an education. We know that, in addition to their academic pursuits, they will be learning about life and the “real world”. So why should we need to teach them anything before they head out the door? Because there are some skills that will help them survive on their own as they navigate the world of college. Here are eight skills that will help your student succeed in “College 101”.

Parenting College Students: Recommended Reading List

December 17, 2021July 7, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

This post includes a list of fourteen books of interest to parents of college students. The list is not inclusive: there are more books out there. The authors of these books have different styles and different approaches. Some are probably better than others. We are not endorsing any of the books, but hope that the list will serve as a resource for parents who want more information. You won’t want to read them all, but look for some of the titles that intrigue you.

Enjoy gathering some additional information – and recognizing that you’re not alone in your joys and concerns about your student heading off to college.

We also have four additional lists. Go to the Reviews and Reading Lists section of the website for lots more book suggestions.

Why Doesn’t My College Freshman Want To Attend Orientation?

May 17, 2022July 2, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Most colleges conduct some kind of orientation for incoming students. The orientation session may happen during the summer, or just prior to the beginning of classes. Orientation is valuable and helpful for incoming students. Your student is excited about beginning her college career. But you are taken by surprise when it comes time for orientation and your student says she doesn’t want to attend – and may even say she’s changed her mind about attending college! What’s going on?

The entire summer before the first year of college is likely to be a pendulum for your student between excitement and terror, longing for independence and clinging to home. He may not even realize what a roller coaster ride he’s on, but the more that you remember the enormity of this transition, the more that you can help – even if it is just through your patience. Although orientation may seem just the natural next step toward college, it may be one of the biggest steps.

Should My College Student Consider Summer Classes?

May 3, 2020June 30, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Once the last of the final exams are finished in the spring, most students look forward to a long summer break before classes resume in the fall. Students often spend their summer working hard at a summer job, but they enjoy having a summer free from classes, textbooks, papers, and tests. Some students, however, may consider signing up for summer classes – either at their own college or at an institution closer to home. There are some things for your student to consider before they make the decision to continue classes during the summer.

Why would a student want to take summer classes?

Students opt for summer classes for a variety of reasons.

Students May Be Accepted To College, But For Spring Admission

June 6, 2015June 29, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Your student probably waited eagerly for that important admissions letter to arrive from his college of choice. He hoped for an acceptance (possibly even early admission), but knew that either being waitlisted or rejected were also possibilities. However, what he may not have expected was to be admitted – but for admission the following spring rather than in the fall. An increasing number of schools are now considering this strategy. What does it mean for your student?

If your student is accepted for spring admission, it means that the college has accepted her, but can’t seat her until the following spring. The first thing that your student needs to realize is that it is admission. If this is her first choice of school, she can pay the deposit knowing that she will have a place in the spring. She should consider the option carefully before making a second choice out of frustration. If this is her first choice, it may be worth the wait until spring.

Five More Conversation Starters For Parents and Students Before the First Year of College

June 22, 2022June 25, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

In our last post, we suggested five conversations parents and students should have before the student begins college. Here are five more questions to consider.

The process of heading off to college – both for your student and for you – is filled with expectations. One roadblock, however, may be that your expectations and your student’s expectations may not be the same. Using the summer months for some frank and open talk about expectations will clear the air – and possibly avoid difficult situations later when you realize that you, or she, made some assumptions. Good communication now will also lay the foundation for continued quality communication once your student heads off.

Here are five questions or conversations you might consider having before your student leaves for school. Don’t try to cover them all at once, but try to touch on some of these topics as you both prepare. Not only will you learn some things about your student, but she may learn some things about you as well.

When, and how often, will your student come home to visit during the first semester?

Whether or not your student will come home to visit during the first semester may not be an issue if your student is far away from home. But if your student’s school is close enough, do you anticipate her coming home often? Does she plan to come home? Some students head off to college planning to come home every weekend. They want to see their friends, they may want some home-cooking, or they may have a weekend job at home. However, students who are connected to their college – through friends and on-campus activities often do better. Of course, you don’t want your student to feel as though you don’t want her to come home, but you may need to discuss the importance of her spending time on campus to establish her new life. You may need to work to understand why she doesn’t want to come home on the weekend to visit you. Be flexible, of course, but make a plan before your student leaves home.

Five Conversations Parents and College Students Should Have Before the First Year of College

June 22, 2022June 24, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

The summer before your student heads of to college is an exciting, busy, and stressful time for everyone. There’s lots to do to prepare – forms to complete, finances to consider, orientations to attend, shopping to do. Your student may be working and is also busy trying to spend as much time with his friends – and saying goodbye. Communication with your college student may have its wonderful moments, and may also be strained. You feel it is your last chance to impart your wisdom, and he is increasingly anxious to be independent.