College Is a Next Step — That’s All

June 20, 2020June 1, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

Heading off to college is a big step. Your student has anticipated this step for a long time and probably worked hard throughout high school to get ready, apply, and make that final decision. As parents, you’ve been involved — sometimes in the thick of it all and sometimes on the sideline — and you are also anticipating a big change.

But as big as that step to college seems, it is just that — one more step. And the step is that much easier for your student when they are prepared. Perhaps one of the reasons we all have so much anxiety about the college admissions process and the college transition process is that we see it as a giant leap rather than a step.

Your student has taken steps throughout their life — some bigger than others. There were those literal first steps, then daycare or preschool, kindergarten, middle school and high school. Remember how scary each of those steps felt at the time? Your student may have learned to ride a bike, have a first sleepover, play in a first athletic game, give a first music or dance recital, talk to a girl or boy (!), go on a date, and learn to drive a car. Scary, right?

Has Your Student Found the College with the Best Fit?

November 10, 2021February 26, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

According to a survey conducted by Noodle Education, one of the issues parents are most concerned about is that their college student find a college that is the right ”fit.” 72.5% of parents ranked this as highly important to them.

Students, too, want to find a college that is the right fit. Guidance counselors encourage students to look for the college that is the right fit. Colleges claim to be the right fit for your student.

So what exactly does it mean to say that a college is the right ”fit” for a student, and how can a student find that fit?

”Fit”

The quality of fit in a college is a complex concept. It is often difficult to define or describe, but students often know it when they find it.

What Do We Know About College Freshmen?

March 23, 2017February 16, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

The answer to the question of what we know about college freshmen is both ”not much” and ”a lot.”

If you have a college freshman, you may often feel as though you don’t know much about him. If he is living away from home, you may feel particularly out of touch with his day-to-day life. And even if he shares some information with you, you may sometimes feel as though you just don’t understand him. As frustrating as this can be at times, this is typical, normal, and probably appropriate.

On the other hand, however, many institutions, organizations, and individuals continue to do research about first year college students and we continue to learn more each year. While this information is general, of course, and compiles averages rather than talking about your individual student, it is helpful for parents to understand some of the norms for first year college students.

How Hard Is College?

July 30, 2019February 12, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

Does your soon-to-be college student worry about how hard college is going to be? Probably. Do you worry about how hard college will be for your student — and whether they’ll be able to do well? Probably. Can you find the answer? Probably not.

Many, if not most, college students — or almost-college-students – and their parents worry about how hard college will be. Students may not voice their concerns out loud, but they are there. Will school be hard? Will I be able to do the work? Will I understand the material and what is being asked of me? They may ask their advisors, faculty members, other students — ”Is this class hard?”

The answers may not be very satisfying. It depends. Hard is relative. It may be as hard as you make it.

What do students mean by ”hard?”

Hard, of course, can mean many things — and different things to different people. It may mean difficult, challenging, complex, time consuming, a lot of work. It may mean arduous, demanding, exacting, strenuous, exhausting, grueling, painful, distressing, brutal, complicated, intense.

A lot of scary words.

Is Your Student Rising to the Challenge of Preparing for College? Finding Solutions.

March 18, 2017February 5, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

In December 2014 Achieve, Inc. released the report Rising to the Challenge: Are High School Graduates Prepared for College and Work? We think the information in this report is important not just for schools, but for parents as well. In our last post we shared some of the results of this survey. In this post, we share some of the implications for parents and students.

Preparing to succeed in college seems to begin earlier and earlier. Laying the solid foundation of academic skills, softer life skills, and getting ready for the admissions process takes years. Some of the work is conscious for your student, and some may happen unconsciously. Some is under your student’s direct control, and some of the preparation depends on your student’s school, family, and mentors. Can you help? The answer is a resounding yes, but not necessarily in ways that you might think of at first.

Both parents and students can, and must, take control of the college preparation process.

How does this affect me — or my student?

Achieve works primarily on a state level, and as a result of this survey the organization has made several important recommendations to states and to individual school districts. We think the information is important to parents, too, and we think that parents can, and should, talk to their high school students about some of these findings. Students who become aware of shortcomings while they are in high school rather than after high school are in a position to do something to improve their own preparation.

Is Your Student Rising to the Challenge of Preparing for College? What’s the Problem?

March 18, 2017February 2, 2015 by Vicki Nelson

In December 2014 Achieve, Inc. released the report Rising to the Challenge: Are High School Graduates Prepared for College and Work? We think the information in this report is important not just for schools, but for parents as well. In this post we share some of the results of this survey. In our next post, we’ll share some of the implications for parents and students.

A new study has just been released about students’ high school experiences and how they relate to college experiences. It contains important information that parents can use to understand specifically how both students and parents can take more control of the college success preparation process.

Beyond Admissions: Preparing Your High School Senior for College

June 22, 2022December 8, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

As the parent of a high school senior (or junior) you may be doing everything that you can to help your student make decisions and get into the college of their choice. This is an important time and there certainly are a lot of things to do. As your student works on the college admissions process, you may be drawn into the whirlwind along with your student.

This is a good time to stop and think about how the college admissions process has involved you either directly or indirectly.

Your student is

preparing for PSAT, SAT and/or ACT exams,
making sure that extracurricular activities and community service are documented,
keeping grades strong,
cleaning up social media accounts,
attending college information workshops,
completing financial aid applications,
compiling lists of schools,
attending college fairs,
working with guidance counselors,
making college visits,
getting all paperwork organized,
writing essays,
sending out applications,
and finally — waiting impatiently for admissions decisions.

It’s no wonder students — and parents — feel overwhelmed. Just thinking about the process can be exhausting. And once those applications are in the mail, you may feel as though the real work of senior year is done. Now you just wait — at least until letters arrive and new, and final, decisions need to be made.

Returning Home from College: Reverse Culture Shock

November 12, 2019November 13, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

In our last post, we discussed the culture shock that often occurs when students head to college. Some students, and their parents, may not be prepared for the roller coaster ride as students become acclimated to their new environment. Knowing that the ups and downs that students experience are normal will help everyone.

Once your student has made the transition to school and begun to feel comfortable in their new ”culture” of college, both of you may feel that the transition is complete. However, an important stage remains — returning home again. Whether the return is relatively brief — for winter break or summer vacation perhaps — or whether it is a more permanent move back home, you and your student should be prepared for potential re-entry awkwardness and difficulties. Once again, however, the process is normal. Understanding it may help.

The reverse culture shock of returning home may take your student by surprise because it is unexpected and because they don’t realize how much both of you, have changed during the transition time. This second transition process may be especially difficult because it is unexpected.

The Culture Shock of Adjusting to College

August 20, 2019November 10, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

Adjusting to college life is often harder than most first year students and their parents anticipate. Students know that life at college is going to be different, and they are excited, and perhaps a bit anxious, about starting their adventure. But it’s difficult to anticipate how different life may be when you don’t exactly know what to expect. College is, for many students, a foreign culture.

Most students don’t equate entering college to entering a different culture. When we talk about culture, we often refer to those things that we do and accept without really thinking about them: our way of life. We have expectations, values, ways of talking, eating, behaving, relating to each other, and even thinking — but we don’t give these things any conscious thought most of the time. When your student heads to college, they may need to think consciously about how they manage much of their daily life. They need to adjust — and that adjustment will come gradually.

Making the cultural adjustment

Most students make the adjustment to college life eventually. However, each student may adjust according to a different timetable. Some students may find that the adjustment comes fairly easily — they hardly realize that it is happening. Other students find the process difficult, slow, and even painful at times. However, the stages of cultural adjustment are similar for most everyone. If you’ve ever spent a significant amount of time in a foreign country, you may have experienced these phases yourself.

Going With the Flow: Why College Students’ Ability to Adapt Matters

February 13, 2021October 2, 2014 by Vicki Nelson

While many of us are willing to take risks and move out of our comfort zone, the truth is that most of us don’t enjoy change — unless we are the person initiating it. Some people seem to respond positively to change, using the changes in our lives as opportunities for growth, but as human beings we thrive on routine and predictability. College students are no different.

A few weeks into the semester, many first year students begin to settle into a routine and develop habits as the novelty of their new lives wears off. This is a good thing and gives many students the peace of mind of being able to rely on some constancy in their lives. But this is also a good time for students to examine their routines to determine whether they are serving them well. Students who understand — and embrace — the qualities of flexibility and adaptability may be in a better position to grow and make the most of their experiences.