Getting to Know Your Emerging Adult College Student

January 1, 2022February 9, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

Kids today. Sometimes we love them. Sometimes we hate them. Most of the time we feel we don’t understand them. If you are the parent of a college student, you may wonder at times whether this person is still an adolescent or whether he is an adult. Your opinion may change from day to day or even hour to hour. You are not alone. Your student is likely entering, or solidly settled into, a phase of life now labeled Emerging Adulthood. The more you understand about this newly identified stage of life, the more you may feel that you begin to understand your college-age and post-college student.

Emerging Adulthood, as a distinct developmental phase, is most widely known through the work of psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett. Arnett’s book, Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens through the Twenties, was first published in 2004 and has received much attention. We recommend it to college parents. According to Dr. Arnett, ”kids” today aren’t the ”kids” that we were. Parents need to work to understand how different today’s students are.

According to Dr. Arnett, Emerging Adulthood begins at about the age of 18 and often continues until the age of 25 or 27. This is much later than many of us might think. So as your student begins college, she may also be entering this developmental phase. As she graduates from college (and perhaps boomerangs back home) she is in the midst of this stage. She may remain in this stage for several more years. It is not simply an extended adolescence, but a distinct time of less parental control and more independent exploration.

Consider the following five characteristics of this age and think about your student. You may be surprised at how accurate the description is.

College Parents’ Role in the Job or Internship Hunt

March 14, 2019February 6, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

In these difficult economic times, most college parents are anxious about their students finding an appropriate internship or first job. As parents, we want to do all that we can to help support our student through the search process. Often, there may be a fine line between providing support and guidance and stepping too far across that line to inappropriate involvement.

Parents today are increasingly involved in all aspects of their children’s lives from birth through adulthood. As a generation, we are earning the title of ”helicopter parent” and schools, colleges and employers are all recognizing that our involvement has great influence on our children and young adults. CERI, the Collegiate Employment Research Institute sponsored by Michigan State University recently surveyed 725 employers regarding parental involvement with job applicants and employees. Their findings hold up a mirror to us as parents of college students and recent graduates. Unfortunately, the majority of employers see parents as a negative ”interference.”

Approximately 23% of employers see parents involved in the job search sometimes or very often. When involved, parental involvement breaks down in the following ways:

12 Topics Parents Should Cover to Help College Students Gain Financial Literacy

July 19, 2020January 26, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

Paying for a college education requires a lot of financial planning. Most parents begin thinking about how to finance college many years before a student is ready to embark on a college career. Your college student may or may not be involved in this planning. But whether or not your college student is involved in the bigger financial issues such as tuition and other college expenses, it is important that your student become financially literate in order to survive financially during and beyond the college years.

A growing national problem

Financial literacy involves the ability to read, manage, and communicate about personal finances and to have the skills and knowledge to make competent financial choices about banking, credit, insurance, taxes and investments. How does your student stack up? Most high school graduates don’t do very well. High school student spending may create an unrealistic lifestyle. Iowa State University tested high school seniors’ understanding of money management. The average score was a 57% – a dramatically failing grade.

Is Your Student Heading to College for the Right Reasons?

June 22, 2022January 23, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

High school seniors have been doing their research on potential colleges, taking the appropriate high school classes, participating in plenty of extracurricular activities, making college visits, writing college essays, completing college applications, and finally awaiting the college verdict via acceptance or rejection letters. Whew!

The college admissions process becomes a way of life for many high school juniors and seniors. But amid the rush to get into just the right college, has your student taken time think about why they want to go to college?

A college education is expensive. No one would argue otherwise. Depending on the college, the expense may feel manageable or overwhelming. A college education for the right reasons is an investment in the future. Heading to college for the wrong reasons may potentially be a monumental waste of money.

The Smartest Word Your College Student Can Use — How Your Student Can Ask for Help

November 26, 2022January 19, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

This is the third of three posts about college students asking for help. In our first post we considered why students sometimes have difficulty asking for help. Our second post looked at who students might turn to for help. In this post we’ll consider how students can most effectively seek the help they need.

Many high school students planning to go to college spend a lot of their time reviewing vocabulary words for their SAT College Board exam. They learn big words, important words, roots of words, and definitions. But if your college student is going to succeed in college, there may be one important word that he needs that never shows up on his entrance exam. It may be the most important word that he can use in college. What is that word? ”Help.”

Your student is very likely to need help at some point in his college career. Hopefully, you’ve helped him understand that it is important to seek the help that he needs and encouraged him get past possible barriers to seeking that help. Your student has worked to learn what is available to him on campus and thought about the most appropriate source of help for his problem. Now your student needs to think about how to most effectively ask for that help.

Asking for help is often very difficult for students. For many of the reasons that we discussed in our first post, students are reluctant to seek help. However, even if your student understands that he needs to ask, actually approaching professors or college staff members may be intimidating. This can be especially true if your student has missed some classes, or has any other reason to be concerned about what the professor or staff member may think of him. Having a plan for the appointment may help your student to anticipate what might happen and to feel he has more control over the encounter.

The Smartest Word Your College Student Can Use — Part 2

January 3, 2019January 16, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

This is the second of three posts about college students asking for help. In our first post we considered why students sometimes have difficulty asking for help. In this post we’ll look at who students might turn to for help and in Part 3 we’ll consider how students can most effectively seek the help they need.

One of the first steps in encouraging your college student to ask for help when he needs it is helping him understand some of the factors that may be holding him back from seeking what he needs. Once he works his way past those barriers, however, it is important that he know what help is available to him. We’ve written earlier posts about helping your student find support on campus. It is important that your student know when he needs to ask for help and know where to find that help on campus.

The Smartest Word Your College Student Can Use — Why Students Don’t Ask for Help

January 6, 2022January 12, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

This is the first of three articles about college students asking for help. In this article we’ll consider why students sometimes have difficulty asking for help, in Part 2 we’ll look at who students might turn to for help and in Part 3 we’ll consider how students can most effectively seek help.

Many high school students planning to go to college spend a lot of their time reviewing vocabulary words for their SAT College Board exam. They learn big words, important words, roots of words, and definitions. But if your college student is going to succeed in college, there may be one important word that they need that never shows up on an entrance exam. It may be the most important word that your student can use in college. What is that word? ”Help.”

As a parent, helping your child understand early in their educational career that asking for help is important may be one of the best lessons that you can teach. This lesson might start in elementary school — or even at home earlier than that. As a college parent, it is important that you reinforce that message. As one college professor has stated, ”Asking for help is the new smart!“ Help your college student understand the importance and necessity of asking for help and practice the art of self-advocacy.

Helping Your College Student Use Winter Break to Get a Head Start for Spring Semester

January 1, 2019January 9, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

Winter break is an important time for college students to recharge their batteries, earn some extra cash, take an extra course, catch up with friends and family, and perhaps just enjoy some down-time. Your college student will probably be glad, at least for a while, to have a break from college and from thinking about classes and responsibilities.

However, while most students are on break during at least part of the month of January, most college offices are open and working. January might be an ideal time for your student to take care of any items that need to be addressed with college offices before other students are back on campus. For some departments, the time while students are off campus is quieter. Your student can avoid the beginning-of-semester rush and perhaps get more attention than he will once all of the students have returned.

Help Your Student Create a Plan for a Successful Second Semester of College

January 1, 2022January 5, 2012 by Vicki Nelson

Your college student has completed their first semester of college. Congratulations! Hopefully, it was a good semester, but there’s a chance it might not have been. A rocky first semester is not unusual for many first year students. But whether or not the semester was as successful as you and your student had hoped, having the first semester under your belt is a milestone on the college path.

As your student prepares for their second semester of college, this is a good time for you both to take stock, think about the past semester, and to create a plan for the fresh start that a new semester brings.

Returning to college for the second semester may loom large for your student. Beginning college for the first semester is stressful, but exciting. Everything is new, students look forward to their independence, opportunities to make new friends, and the new experiences that a new environment will bring. Returning for the second semester may mean that your student needs to make some changes, break some habits, sharpen some skills, or get out of a possible rut. This time, your student knows what’s ahead and knows some of the challenges they may face.

Eight New Year’s Connections for College Parents

March 25, 2017December 29, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

This is the second of two posts with thoughts about the New Year for you and your college student. Our previous post offered some suggestions for you to share with your student. This post offers something for parents.

This is the time of year for reflection, and it is often a hopeful time of year. The start of a new calendar year is often a doubly new start of college students (and their parents) as they think about a new semester.

Each year at this time we offer some thoughts and suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions for parents and their college or high school students. Check out our posts from previous years for some resolutions that may be valuable this year.

New Year’s Resolutions for College Parents — and Their College Students

New Year’s Rsolutions for High School Parents — and Their College Bound Students

New Year’s Resolutions for You and Your High School or College Student

We’d like to offer a slightly different way of thinking about your resolutions this year. We suggest just one resolution for parents this year — with eight different ways to carry it out.