Your Five Most Important Jobs as a College Parent

October 28, 2021June 26, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

Being a college parent is hard work. Sometimes it is difficult work because of the amount of things that you need to do and because you need to be very involved. But sometimes, being a college parent is hard work because of what you need not to do. Sometimes the hard work is standing back and allowing your student to take control of the experience.

But just because you need to stand back and let your student be in the driver’s seat, doesn’t mean that you, as a college parent, are not involved. Although you may be on the sidelines of this experience, you can still be present, needed, and very much part of the fabric of the experience. The involvement may, however, be more subtle (and therefore, in some ways more difficult) than you anticipated.

We’d like to suggest five important jobs for college parents. You may not do all jobs equally well. You may not need to tackle some jobs as much as others. You may need to experiment and practice some skills before you become proficient at them. But we’d like to suggest that you have five important tasks as a college parent.

What’s Ahead For Your College Student? The Four Year Journey

June 10, 2021June 19, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

As you send your high school student off for their freshman year of college and you worry about how they will manage, it is almost impossible to imagine the college senior that you will have in four years. It may help to remind yourself of the child who began high school four years earlier. Could you have imagined then, what they would be like four years later as they graduated from high school?

Students mature during their college years, not only because times passes, but because they experience many different influences and demands. We’ve discussed in many posts the importance of helping your college student learn to advocate and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. It is not always an easy thing for us, as parents, to remember the important long-term goals over the immediate impulse to ”fix” any problems.

Your College Student’s Roommate Match

July 1, 2019May 31, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

If your student is heading off to college and will be living in a residence hall on campus, she is probably wondering, and even nervous, about who her roommate will be. This is only natural, as most students who will be living in a relatively small space with another student may be sharing a room for the first time. You and your student may both be wondering how and when the college will be assigning roommates.

Different colleges use different methods for assigning roommates. Some schools make matches randomly. Other schools send students a questionnaire to determine some lifestyle preferences and then spend many hours making matches based on that information. In some cases students may be matched by computer. Many schools will allow students to request to live with a particular student as long as the request is mutual.

Study Away — Alternative to Study Abroad

June 19, 2021May 18, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

Perhaps your college student would like the opportunity to get away from their campus and broaden their experiences. But perhaps your student doesn’t feel ready or can’t afford to study abroad. That doesn’t necessarily mean that there is no opportunity to have the experience of expanding their academic, cultural, and personal experiences. Many colleges formally offer a ”study away” experience which can include opportunities to spend a few weeks, a semester, or even a full academic year in another setting.

There are many advantages to exchange, abroad, or away programs. Your student may learn more about diversity and multicultural issues, will learn to live more effectively with differences, will have experiences that may broaden their mind and help them learn more about new behaviors and ways of living. Your student will experience a welcome break from their own campus and routine; will have new opportunities for networking, friendships, and experiences. Costs for domestic study away opportunities may be less than a study abroad program.

Can My College Student Dispute a Course Grade?

April 29, 2022May 11, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

For as long as there have been college students and professors, some students have been unhappy with the grades that they receive in some courses. Sometimes a student expects the grade they receive, and sometimes they may be taken by surprise. Sometimes a student knows that a particular grade is coming, but they are unhappy with the grade. Grades are intended to reflect the quality of the work produced and the level of understanding which the student has of the material covered in the class.

Occasionally, however, a student is not only unhappy with the grade they receive, but they also feel the grade is not appropriate; either because it does not fairly represent their work or understanding, or because a mistake has been made. As a parent, this may be one of those situations when you want to jump in and help to make it better for your student. Like so many other situations for your college student, this is one of those times when it is not appropriate for you to step in. If your student feels they have been graded inappropriately in a course, they must consider their options and take any potential action on their own. However, if your student shares their feelings with you, you can help them consider their options.

The Middlework of College

March 11, 2021March 14, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

There is a lot of work that happens, for both you and your college student, as they transition into college during the first year. Both you and your student have a lot to learn about the school, and you need to work on new ways of relating to each other as well. When your student is a senior, there is a lot of work that happens as your student gets ready for the transition out of college into the world of work or graduate school. There may be work for you as well, if your student may be moving back home again.

Sometimes lost in all of the transitional work as students enter or prepare to leave college may be the sophomore and junior years when so much of the middlework of college happens. The major transition to college is over and the stress of senior year has not yet begun. Although at times this period may seem somewhat awkward, these years represent half of your college student’s career, and they represent much of the foundation of your student’s education. It is during these years that your student continues their exploration of who they are, choose or confirm a major, and begin to solidify their experiences. As college parents, it is important that we remember that although these may sometimes feel like ”quiet” years compared to the turmoil of beginnings and endings, important things are happening during this time.

Is Your College Student Preparing for the World of Work?

March 14, 2019February 25, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

For many students, college life is a wonderful time living an ideal existence. It is, in some ways, an escape from the real world. In spite of the stress that many students experience over various issues, real financial worries, occasional social drama, and worries about career decisions once they graduate, college life has some benefits. For many students, meals are prepared for them in a dining hall, someone cleans up after them in residence halls, someone else is responsible for shoveling, raking and mowing, their commute may consist of walking across the quad, friends live just down the hall and are available 24/7, and much entertainment is free on campus. College life for some students is an idyllic bubble that lasts for a few years.

However, most college students do graduate, and then they face the reality of the world of work. Is there anything in that idyllic life of college that prepares them for the expectations that will exist once they graduate? For students who give some thought to a work ethic and to their college experiences, there are many lessons they can take away. As a college parent, you may be able to help your student equate some of his college experiences to his future work life. Students who recognize these college experiences as preparation and practice for later work expectations will not only experience more success in college, but will be better prepared later.

Should My Student Choose a Double Major in College?

March 30, 2021February 21, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

Many students have difficulty choosing a major in college. Some of those students who have difficulty cannot decide on a single major in which they are interested. Others may have difficulty narrowing their choices down to one major. Those students with multiple interests may consider opting for a double major or dual major. You may be wondering whether this is a good choice for your student. The answer is, it depends. As with so many other decisions surrounding college, there is no clear answer. It is important that your student consider carefully her reasons for the double major option, and the implications of choosing this path.

Why is your student making the double major choice?

Students may opt for a double major for a number of reasons. Not being able to make up your mind between two majors may not be a very good reason — but it might be. Your student should ask himself why he can’t make up his mind. Is he truly, equally interested in both? Does he feel an obligation to major in one area, but a passion to major in another? Do the two majors fit together or complement each other? Would a major in one area and a minor in the other serve the same purpose or satisfy the same needs? (A minor often involves half of the number of courses of a major.) Is your student considering a double major because one major satisfies his head (intellect) and one satisfies his heart (passion)? Is he making this choice because he is considering graduate school and wants multiple options? Will the double major give your student a broader perspective and added flexibility?

When Should My College Student Choose a Major?

May 24, 2021February 14, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

The short answer to when your college student should choose a major is when they are ready. However, as we all realize, it may not be as simple as that. Some students may be ready to choose a major early in their college career, or even well before they get to college. Other students may have great difficulty settling on a single major. And still other students may be ready to choose a major, but may not realize it.

Perhaps one of the first and most important conversations you should have with your college student about choosing a major is that choosing a major is not the same thing as choosing a career. Many students are reluctant, or even fearful, of choosing a major because they worry that this choice will lock them into a career. Students think career first, and then major. You may need to help your student understand that a specific major may lead to many careers, and that several majors may lead to the same career. Students should also be reminded that most people today may change careers several times during their working life, and may finally settle on a career quite far removed from their college major. If your student does not yet have a specific career path in mind, that should not inhibit them from choosing a field of study in which they are interested. The more your student studies and learns about their area, the more career direction they will have.

What Might Jeopardize My College Student’s Financial Aid?

March 15, 2017January 31, 2011 by Vicki Nelson

College is expensive, there’s no argument there. Many families rely on financial aid to make college a possibility. For most families, that financial aid package contains a combination of scholarships, grants, loans, and possible work-study for their student. So you’ve received your financial aid package (which never seems enough, but it helps) and your student has headed off to college. You’re all set. Or are you?

Although there is no guarantee that the amount of financial aid that your student is offered for freshman year will be maintained for all four years, most colleges do honor and continue their offering unless family circumstances change. Most families can count on that level of aid continuing for their student’s four years at college. If your student needs more than four years to complete his degree, you should check with the school about their policies regarding fifth year financial aid.