What Do I Do If My College Student Is Homesick?

January 6, 2018September 17, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Of course, not all college students will get homesick when they go away to college. Many students adjust well, settle in, and have a wonderful experience. Some students may experience some homesickness, but their parents will never know about it. It may last a few days or a few weeks, the student will adjust and move on. But for some parents, the fear becomes reality. Their college student is homesick, miserable, and perhaps asking to come home. What is a parent to do?

Students may experience homesickness to varying degrees, although most probably have at least some of those feelings of longing for home. It is helpful for parents, and students, to understand that a certain amount of homesickness is completely normal. Students are dealing with unfamiliar situations, possible lack of routine and structure, loss of close friends, and readjustments of expectations. Some factors may increase the likelihood that your child may experience some degree of homesickness: no previous experiences away from home, difficulty making transitions to new situations, roommate issues, leaving a boyfriend or girlfriend at home, possible concerns about family members at home, or academic difficulties. One Dutch study, conducted in 2007, suggested that students with more involved parents tend to experience more homesickness; however, they may also have more effective coping strategies.

Helping Your College Student Be a Better Student: Twelve Questions to Ask

March 12, 2018September 3, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Your college student may have been an outstanding scholar in high school, or he may have struggled throughout his academic career. His patterns of being a student have been set for years. However, college provides a new academic start for students. Students who breezed through high school may find themselves challenged for the first time. Students who found themselves labeled as poor students in high school may find that the fresh start gives them new energy and perspective on their studies.

Whether your student is encountering academic difficulty for the first time in college, or has fought this battle before, you may receive the phone call in which your student worries about her grades, complains about the amount and difficulty of the work, is aggravated at the professor, and is generally discouraged. Academics in college are very different than in high school and they often require a new approach.

What is a parent to do? First of all, listen. Let your student vent. Sometimes, that may be all that is necessary. But second, ask some questions to help your student try to figure out what he can do to make things better. Help him think about taking action. Here are twelve questions that you might ask your struggling student to help him think through the issue.

Be Prepared For the ”Meltdown” Phone Call From Your College Freshman

January 2, 2019August 30, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

It may not be inevitable, but it is common and it is normal. It’s two weeks into your college freshman’s first semester, (or three weeks, or one week, or five weeks) and you get the phone call. It may be three o’clock in the afternoon, but more likely it is midnight. Your student is miserable. He hates school, he is overwhelmed academically, he has no friends, he hates the food, he’s ready to come home. As a parent, you panic. This was all a mistake, he should have gone somewhere else, or stayed home, or commuted to a local school. You are ready to leave home immediately and go to school to collect him and bring him home. At the very least, you are up half of the night worrying about him.

But wait, you are not alone! Understanding that this phone call may be a normal part of the adjustment to college for many freshmen may help. Being prepared for the situation, while hoping that it never arises, will help. Here are some suggestions for what to do if you get that phone call from your miserable college freshman.

Affirming ”Helicopter Parents”: How To Hover Constructively

March 23, 2017August 20, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

This is the third of three posts that consider the concept of college helicopter parents. The concept is certainly not new, but it warrants continual examination – and sometimes redefinition. In our first post, we looked at the definition of helicopter parents, as well as some of the motivation behind parental hovering. In our second post, we examined who helicopter parents are and how they operate, and in this post, we consider the consequences of helicoptering and suggest some possible ways in which parents might hover productively.

Helicopter parents, (those parents who hover closely over their children, ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice to rescue the student or attack the enemy) have caused colleges to express concern about parental involvement in college students’ lives. Many colleges clearly send messages to parents to “back off” or “stay away”. In most instances, it doesn’t work. Parents continue to be closely involved in their students’ lives because they feel that they are needed to help the student be successful. Many parents may not fully understand the consequences of excessive involvement or hovering.

Affirming ”Helicopter Parents”: A Look in the Mirror

March 23, 2017August 18, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

This is the second of three posts that consider the concept of college helicopter parents. The concept is certainly not new, but it warrants continual examination – and sometimes redefinition. In our first post, we looked at the definition of helicopter parents, as well as some of the motivation behind parental hovering. In this post, we will examine who helicopter parents are and how they operate, and in our final post, we will consider the consequences of helicoptering and suggest some possible ways in which parents might hover productively.

Who are today’s helicopter parents?

Today’s helicopter parents are the baby boomers who have programmed and protected their children since they were born. They are parents who have been involved in every aspect of their children’s activities. Like parents of all generations, they want the best for their children, but they believe that achieving that best requires direct parental involvement.

There are more than a few helicopter parents. According to a recent National Survey of Student Engagement, which surveyed approximately 10,000 students at 24 colleges in the United States, forty percent of freshmen say a parent has intervened to solve a problem for them. The majority of these students are not unhappy to have their parents involved.

What Parents Can Do To Support Their College Student Studying Abroad

September 1, 2022August 13, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

This is the third of a series of three posts about college students and studying abroad. In the first post we looked at some of the reasons why a study abroad program might make sense for your college student. In the second post, we considered how to help your student prepare to go abroad, and in this final post we look at what to do while he is away.

Your college student has headed off confidently (or perhaps with a bit of trepidation) on her study abroad experience. You are proud of her, excited for her, and perhaps, a bit concerned for her. You know that the experience is important and wonderful for her, but you are a parent and you worry. Here are a few suggestions of things that you can do to help ease the transition – for her – and for you.

Helping Your College Student Prepare To Study Abroad

June 1, 2022August 11, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

This is the second of a series of three posts about college students and studying abroad. In the first post we looked at some of the reasons why a study abroad program might make sense for your college student. In this post, we consider how to help your student prepare to go abroad, and in the final post we’ll look at what to do while he is away.

Now that your student has decided to study abroad and has chosen an appropriate program, the real preparation begins. There is much to do to get ready for this new and exciting experience. As the college parent, your role will be largely supportive, but your involvement will be crucial. Working with your student to ensure the best experience possible can be rewarding for both of you. Remember, though, that your student needs to be in charge of preparations. This is good practice for the independence that he will need while he is away.

Here are some suggestions of ways in which you might be helpful.

Understanding Why Your Son Or Daughter Wants to Study Abroad

June 15, 2021August 9, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

This is the first of a series of three posts about college students and studying abroad. In this post we’ll look at some of the reasons that a study abroad program might make sense for your college student. In the following two posts, we’ll consider how to help your student prepare to go abroad, and what to do while he is away.

We live today in a global society. Worldwide knowledge and experiences are becoming expected in the workplace. Many students consider studying abroad and look forward to the opportunity to spend some time in a foreign country during their college years. This experience may take the form of a summer program, an organized college trip, or a semester or year abroad. For many college parents, understanding their student’s desire to spend a year far away in another country seems obvious, while for others it make take some work.

As a parent, you may understand completely why your student wants to study abroad – in fact you may be envious of the experience. Your student may have talked about and planned for this experience even prior to attending college. On the other hand, perhaps you hadn’t considered this, and you may be wondering why your student, who worked so hard to transition to college and settle in, would want to uproot, even for a semester, to do it all again. The more that you work to understand your student’s motivation for studying abroad, the more you will be able to discuss his options with him.

Eight Life Skills You Should Teach Your College Freshman Before They Head to College

June 22, 2022July 9, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

We send our students off to college to get an education. We know that, in addition to their academic pursuits, they will be learning about life and the “real world”. So why should we need to teach them anything before they head out the door? Because there are some skills that will help them survive on their own as they navigate the world of college. Here are eight skills that will help your student succeed in “College 101”.

Why Doesn’t My College Freshman Want To Attend Orientation?

May 17, 2022July 2, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Most colleges conduct some kind of orientation for incoming students. The orientation session may happen during the summer, or just prior to the beginning of classes. Orientation is valuable and helpful for incoming students. Your student is excited about beginning her college career. But you are taken by surprise when it comes time for orientation and your student says she doesn’t want to attend – and may even say she’s changed her mind about attending college! What’s going on?

The entire summer before the first year of college is likely to be a pendulum for your student between excitement and terror, longing for independence and clinging to home. He may not even realize what a roller coaster ride he’s on, but the more that you remember the enormity of this transition, the more that you can help – even if it is just through your patience. Although orientation may seem just the natural next step toward college, it may be one of the biggest steps.