Why Doesn’t My College Freshman Want To Attend Orientation?

May 17, 2022July 2, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Most colleges conduct some kind of orientation for incoming students. The orientation session may happen during the summer, or just prior to the beginning of classes. Orientation is valuable and helpful for incoming students. Your student is excited about beginning her college career. But you are taken by surprise when it comes time for orientation and your student says she doesn’t want to attend – and may even say she’s changed her mind about attending college! What’s going on?

The entire summer before the first year of college is likely to be a pendulum for your student between excitement and terror, longing for independence and clinging to home. He may not even realize what a roller coaster ride he’s on, but the more that you remember the enormity of this transition, the more that you can help – even if it is just through your patience. Although orientation may seem just the natural next step toward college, it may be one of the biggest steps.

Students May Be Accepted To College, But For Spring Admission

June 6, 2015June 29, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Your student probably waited eagerly for that important admissions letter to arrive from his college of choice. He hoped for an acceptance (possibly even early admission), but knew that either being waitlisted or rejected were also possibilities. However, what he may not have expected was to be admitted – but for admission the following spring rather than in the fall. An increasing number of schools are now considering this strategy. What does it mean for your student?

If your student is accepted for spring admission, it means that the college has accepted her, but can’t seat her until the following spring. The first thing that your student needs to realize is that it is admission. If this is her first choice of school, she can pay the deposit knowing that she will have a place in the spring. She should consider the option carefully before making a second choice out of frustration. If this is her first choice, it may be worth the wait until spring.

Helping Your College Student With Sibling Relationships

June 25, 2019June 2, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

As our college student heads off to college, we may be feeling the “empty nest” syndrome, even though there are still other children at home. The family is different now, with one or more students off to college. We know that things are different and we work to adjust to the new family dynamic. However, parents and college students are not the only ones making an adjustment. When our college student leaves home, siblings remaining at home will be feeling the change, and the loss, as well. There are some things that we can think about as parents, and that we can help our college student to think about, to make this adjustment go smoothly for siblings remaining at home.

Obviously, how we deal with siblings at home will depend on their age. A sibling in high school, approaching college himself, will have different perceptions and needs than a young child. Family dynamics are also unique and vastly different. But certain actions and conversations may be helpful to anyone.

Helping Your College Student Select a Meal Plan

June 24, 2019May 29, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

If your college student will be living on campus, one of the decisions she may need to make is choosing a meal plan. The policies and options for meal plans vary from school to school. They are often mandatory for resident students and may be offered as an option for commuters. They usually involve a prepaid account from which your student draws for meals. She will probably have a meal card (which may be her college ID card) which she will swipe each time she purchases a meal.

Summer Preparations For Your College Student’s Transition to Freshman Year.

May 25, 2020May 28, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

The SAT’s are done, the college visits are done, the applications submitted, the acceptances received, the deposit paid. Your student is headed off to college in the fall. It’s a wonderful – and a stressful – time for everyone. The time between high school graduation in the spring and arrival at college in the fall goes by quickly and yet may seem at times interminable. There is a lot going on.

There are some things that you, and your college student, can do during the summer to make the transition to college go much more smoothly in the fall. This is the beginning of your new role as a college parent – that of a coach or mentor. Summer is a great time to try out the new role.

College Parent? Inspiration for Your New Coaching Role

April 26, 2018May 20, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

If you’re a new college parent, you’re shifting to a new role as a sideline coach: still involved in your student’s life and success, but with a new approach. It’s time to get inspired about your new role!

Many of the world’s greatest athletes credit their success to the influence of their coaches. They recognize that, while they may have certain abilities, they need the teaching, insight, and training that a quality coach can provide. You may have thought of yourself in this role before – or this may be a new image for you. Either way, let’s explore some of the wisdom of the world’s greatest coaches and consider what it means to be a great coach.

Your Role As a College Parent: Sideline Coach

January 5, 2024May 19, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

As your child heads off to college, you are probably experiencing many emotions. That is only natural. It means that you recognize the enormity of the step that your child is taking. Remember how it felt when he headed to kindergarten, or got behind the wheel of the car for the first time? In many ways, this new phase is similar.

It is important to remember that this is a new stage for you as well as for your student. As the parent of a college freshman, your role is changing in significant ways. We’re often so busy focusing on our student that we forget that this is a transition for us as well.

Your coaching role

If your student is going to be living away from home, you know that your home-life will be different — more food, less laundry, more quiet, fewer dirty dishes. You’ll no longer be in the middle of it all with the action swirling around you.

So you now have a choice. You can feel lost and useless, or you can embrace your new role – as coach. Like any good coach, there comes a time to step back and observe the results of your hard work.

No matter how important the ”big game” is, the coach is on the sidelines. No matter how much he may want to, the coach can’t play the game for the players. But if the coach has done his work in the pre-season, during all of those long practice hours, the players know what to do on the field. As a parent, we need to know that we’ve done our ”pre-season” work. We need to trust our student to get onto the field and play the game.

We also need to remember that the coach has a job to do on the sidelines of the game. The players need him there. The coach gives suggestions about plays, congratulates and supports, scolds, cajoles, and sometimes registers displeasure. The coach is involved in the game, even though he’s not on the field.

And sometimes, the coach needs to take the player into the locker room and give him a talking to so the player will ”shape up” and play the rest of the game differently.

Should My Student Consider Taking a Gap Year Before Starting College?

June 22, 2022May 9, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

If your student is considering taking a gap year, you should also read our post on deferring enrollment.

The majority of students move smoothly from high school to college. College is the normal “next step” in the educational process. For some students, however, that “next step” just doesn’t seem quite right, at least not just now. It’s not that they don’t want to go to college, it is just that they may feel the need to do something before entering college. For these students, a gap year may be the answer.

A gap year, sometimes called a year out, or year off, or bridging year, is a transition year, usually between high school and college, when the student takes time to do something else. Although it is still the exception in the United States for students to take a gap year, it is a growing trend. Some programs which target gap year students are seeing as much as 15-20% growth. The National Association for College Admission Counseling has suggested that the practice of taking a gap year is on the rise.

Should My Student Consider Deferring Enrollment for College?

June 22, 2022May 7, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

Your “almost” college student has been accepted to college. Congratulations! That is cause for celebration – and probably some relief. But your student isn’t sure that beginning college just now is the right thing for him. Some students may decide to defer their enrollment for a year (or even two) after they have been accepted. You may wonder what this means and how to go about it.

A student may decide to defer enrollment for any number of reasons. He may wish to travel or study abroad, to work to earn money to pay for tuition, to take a year to pursue a sport or hobby. The student may have health or family issues that need to be addressed, she may decide to take an extra, post-graduate year of study to increase skills or gain maturity, or the student may simply need a break from school in order to recharge and find focus.

Why Summer Orientation Is Important for Your College Freshman

May 20, 2019April 30, 2009 by Vicki Nelson

If your student’s college provides a summer orientation session for incoming students, your student should definitely plan to attend. At many colleges summer orientation is mandatory, and for good reason. Although your student has probably visited the campus during the selection process, perhaps multiple times, this may be your student’s first introduction to the college as an official student. They will look at the school differently, will be treated differently, and both they and the school may have different expectations than when they visited as an applicant.