Information for the parents of college students

As a college parent, you probably have very little influence over the amount of time your college student spends studying.  That is appropriate, as you begin to allow your student to gain independence and control over his choices and decisions.  However, you might help your student understand the importance of investing enough time in his work in order to do well.  As a parent, you may be able to help your student think through the realities of how he spends his time.  Then, of course, it will be your job to step back and let him find his way.

The college experience is about more than just coursework.  College is a time to meet new people, experience new things, and work at gaining independence.  But college is also about classes, exams, studying, working with professors, and, hopefully, gaining a wealth of useful knowledge and new ways of thinking.  In order for students to succeed, they need to put in the time.  Unfortunately, many students either do not understand the amount of time necessary to do well in college, or they do not prioritize the amount of time they need to spend studying.

What is expected?

The general rule of thumb regarding college studying is, and has been for a long time, that for each class, students should spend approximately 2-3 of study time for each hour that they spend in class.  Many students carry a course load of 15 credits, or approximately 15 hours of class time each week.  Doing some simple math indicates that your student should be spending roughly 30 hours of study time and 15 hours in class.  This 45 hours is the equivalent of a full time job – the reason that your student is called a full time student.  For many students, this number is a surprise.

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The college application process consumes much of a high school student’s junior and senior years.  Your student has been focused on the application process through SAT prep time, tests, possible AP courses, college visits, deciding where to apply, filling out applications, writing admissions essays, requesting recommendation letters, applying for scholarships.  It’s been overwhelming and all-consuming.  As a parent, you’ve been more or less involved in the process – perhaps keeping track of important dates, planning and driving to college visits, helping with decisions and applications, and dealing with financial matters.

But now it is mid senior year.  The applications have been sent.  The FAFSA and other financial applications have been filed.  Unless your student was one of the lucky students who was admitted through early action or early decision, there is nothing left for you, and your student, to do but wait.  It’s a difficult time.  You’ve both been so busy and focused for so long that it is difficult – perhaps almost impossible – to stop doing.

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Your college student is settling in to the second semester of the year.  Whether your student is in her first year of school or further along in her college career, the second semester has its own rhythms.  Most students are already settled in their rooms or apartments, clubs and activities may be in full swing. However, courses are probably new and there is a feeling of a fresh start.  As the semester progresses, students begin to look toward next year – more settling in, possible study abroad or internship, perhaps graduation.

Here are a few posts that may be particularly helpful at this point in the college year.  We hope you find them helpful.

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As a college parent, one of your concerns may be where your college student will be living while away at college.  Yes, you are certainly anxious that his classroom experiences are strong, but you want to be sure that your student is comfortable, safe, and happy in his living arrangements.  Some of this concern may have to do with a compatible roommate, but you are also concerned about the physical facilities in which your student will live.

College residences are not what many of us remember from our college days.  If you’ve spent much time visiting campuses, you’ve seen the changes.  Students today, and their parents, expect a different living environment.  Services which were yesterday’s luxuries are today’s required amenities.  Today’s students may expect private rooms and bathrooms, suites or apartment style housing, internet, cable, kitchen facilities, parking and easy access to laundry facilities.  They are sophisticated consumers, and colleges and universities are using housing options as tools to recruit and retain students.  Housing that offers fitness facilities, spas, pools, movie theaters, convenience stores, and cafes are more and more common.  As college tuition rises, colleges feel that they need to offer students more for their money.  Campus housing is one area in which they are offering more.

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The Freshman 15.  It’s a classic myth about college. Students who head off to college will gain approximately 15 pounds during their freshman year.  The stories have been around for a long time.  They are persistent.  Are they still true?  Maybe.  Sometimes. While some studies do support the 15 pound theory, another suggests that the number may be closer to 4 pounds, and yet another suggests 5-7 pounds during the freshman year followed by 2-3 during the sophomore year.

You have many things to worry about as your student heads off to college, and whether or not she gains a few pounds may not be on the top of the list.  However, it is worth giving some thought to this myth – and its sometimes truth – because it may reflect some additional truths about college students’ health in general.

Why might your student gain weight just because he’s going to college?

If college students gain weight during freshman year, the reasons are as different as the students themselves.  It’s impossible to pinpoint any single reason, but the cumulative effect of several possible reasons may add up.

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From time to time, we like to review some of the books available for parents of college students.  There is a wealth of literature available to help parents cope with the transition to college and the changes that occur throughout the college years.  We’ve offered some lists of recommended reading, and there is something for everyone. (Check out our lists of sources here and here.)

This is a review of a fun little book put together by Suzette Tyler titled Been There Should’ve Done That – 995 Tips for Making the Most of College. This is a book for you to give to your college student – but to read first, before you give it away.   It contains tip after tip – from college students for college students about topics from orientation to dorm suggestions to clubs and activities to choosing courses to taking notes in the classroom.  Most of the topics of interest to students are covered somewhere in this book.

The format of this book makes it fun and easy to read.  The personality of the student comments make it personal.  Some of the contradictions in advice by different students highlight the fact that there is seldom an exactly right answer for many issues, although some of the mixed messages might be confusing to new students.  Much of the advice makes sense.  Student favorite web tools listed give helpful follow-up.

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College spring break activities are legendary.  Many students travel – often to warmer climates – and party, drink, and generally carry on.  Many parents take these activities in stride, and many parents worry about their students during this time.  However, in recent years, many students are talking about, and engaging in, an “alternative spring break”.  This is the phenomenon of spending the week of spring break participating in some type of organized volunteer effort.

The idea of spending spring break in a volunteer effort has been around for a while, but it gained popularity and publicity following hurricanes Katrina and Rita.  Many college students spent their spring break traveling to hurricane torn areas of the country to help clean up and rebuild.  One estimate is that by 2006, more than 30,000 students participated in some sort of alternative spring break experience.

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Many students have grown up studying the arts.  Children take dance lessons, music lessons, and participate in drama or choral performances.  Hopefully, these children and young adults participate in these activities because they love them. Unfortunately, the arts are often seen as add-ons to a student’s education.   However, students reap many benefits from these activities which will serve them well when they get to college, and as they continue throughout their lives.

I am pleased to have a guest post this week on DanceAdvantage.net about some of the benefits of a dance education for college students.  Although the post was specifically written about dance, the principles apply to any study of performing arts.  If your student participates in the arts in any way, or has participated in the past, please visit DanceAdvantage and read Ten Credits Dancers Take With Them to College. In the article we discuss some of the qualities which dancers (or any student of the arts) have which will give them an advantage when they get to college.

If you have a student who dances, you’ll want to spend some time looking around DanceAdvantage.net.  Writer and dancer Nichelle Strzepek has put together a wonderful site that is chock full of information for dancers, parents and teachers.

Ten Credits Dancers Take With Them to College on DanceAdvantage.net

If it is spring semester, spring break is on the minds of most students – and many of their parents.  Students have been hard at work since the fall, many have had a winter break at home with their families, and many students look forward to that mid-point of spring semester when they can let off steam.  Sending your student off to college as a first-year student was a sometimes frightening “letting go” experience for many parents.  One of the next major steps of independence for many students may be heading off on a trip for spring break.

Not all students travel for spring break.  The reality is that many of those students who do head for the typical spring break destinations receive a lot of publicity, but these students represent only a portion of the number of college students in the country.  Many students cannot afford expensive spring break trips.  Many students head home for some quality down time with family, or extra study time. Some students spend break working to increase income.   Increasingly, many students opt to spend an alternative spring break traveling and doing community service work.  More and more colleges are offering organized alternatives to their students.  College athletes may travel with a team.  Some students spend the break doing internships.  And some students choose to travel – but not to prime student destinations.

If your student is coming home for break, remember that, just like winter break, your student probably needs some down time.  That may mean that she may spend much of the week sleeping, doing laundry, eating, catching up on TV, and possibly sleeping some more.  This is a vacation for your student.  She has likely just finished midterm exams, and she knows that she has a lot of work ahead of her when she returns to school.  Be patient with her student hours, her apparent lack of motivation, and her need for sleep.

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College is expensive.  Both parents and students know that they are investing a lot of money in a college education.  Some families have pieced together significant scholarships, grants and loans in order to pay for a college education.  This post is not about those bigger financial issues that make a college education possible.  It is about helping your student create and live by a daily budget for his living expenses.  Whether your student must pay for his own expenses, or whether you partially or fully fund his expenses, college is the ideal time for your student to learn to manage his money carefully.

Working together with your student to help her establish a budget may provide an opportunity for you to talk with her about her priorities, her needs and wants, her interests, and her goals.  You will get to know your student even better.  You will be helping her to establish an important skill for after graduation, as well as helping her to understand where her money goes now.  She may already understand, or she may be surprised to discover, how quickly little expenses add up.  Your student’s budget will be more and more realistic each semester that she spends at college as she learns what true costs are and what opportunities she may have to save.  If she is just starting college, her budget may be only an estimate and she will need to be flexible.

Thinking About Budgeting

Hopefully, your college student will be interested and willing to work at setting up a budget.  If he resists, try to insist.  Help him understand the importance of understanding where his money goes.  Convince him that if he wants or needs more money, or more independence, later, then he will have a more solid argument if he can demonstrate his spending responsibility.  Creating a daily budget is another step toward the responsible independence that both you and your student seek.

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