Category — Transition To College

The summer before your student heads to college is a busy time.  There may be an orientation for your student, and for you.  There are things to buy for the new dorm room.  Your student may be contacting her roommate.  There are doctor and dentist appointments to make, forms to complete, financing to finalize.  Your student may or may not be busy packing, and you may be busy worrying about why she’s not packing yet.  And through it all, your student is busy trying to say goodbye to friends, and you are trying to come to terms with the fact that she’ll be gone.

Amid all of the flurry of preparations for leaving, there are some important decisions that you and your college student should make to anticipate potential issues later on.  If you spend some time this summer agreeing on these points, you won’t be taken by surprise when inevitable situations arise later.  You’ll know that you and your student are “on the same page”, and you may prevent difficulties later.  Here are eight things to discuss with your student before she leaves.

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One of the things that college parents and their students both worry about is getting along with a college roommate.  Most students have never shared a room before, and small college residence hall rooms put students in close contact.  Parents and students alike realize that a good roommate relationship can be a wonderful experience, but a difficult situation can make everyone miserable.  Everyone hopes for the perfect match, a new best friend, and a happily-ever-after living arrangement.

Most colleges work hard at making good roommate matches.  They ask students for information about themselves and then assign roommates that have a good chance of being compatible based on lifestyle and interests.  However, no matching system is perfect, and even if students are perfectly matched, conflicts are inevitable. Even if students are well prepared for the experience of living with a roommate, conflicts are inevitable.   There are things that your student can do to try to minimize conflict and to deal with conflict when it arises.  One thing that you and your student may not have considered, however, is that there may actually be some benefits to those inevitable situations when your student is confronted with roommate issues.  We’d like to suggest four benefits or skills which your student may gain from dealing with roommate conflicts.

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Roommate conflict is unavoidable.  Although, as parents, we hope that our college student will get along perfectly with his college roommate, it is an unrealistic hope.  Whenever individuals live closely together, some amount of conflict is inevitable.  Actually, a little bit of conflict is not necessarily a bad thing.  Students learn important skills as they learn to handle issues with their roommates.

However, even when we realize that some degree of conflict may be inevitable, and may possibly have beneficial effects, we hope that any conflict will be minimal.  There are some things, short of giving in on everything and putting up with anything, that students can do to minimize the issues that may arise between roommates.  If this is your student’s first time sharing a room and/or living with a larger group of people in close quarters, you may increase your student’s chances of having a good experience by helping her to think through some of the issues that might come up and how she will handle them. In an earlier post, we considered some things that your student might do to prepare for life with a roommate.  In this post, we’ll look at what your student might do to reduce conflict and how to handle inevitable conflict when it occurs.  In an upcoming post, we’ll examine some actual positive benefits of dealing with some conflict.

Here are a few things that your college student might consider to reduce potential conflict.

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One of the exciting, and sometimes terrifying, aspects of the college experience is living with a roommate for the first time.  Most soon-to-be college students are anxious about beginning their residence hall experience.  Some students have thought carefully about what the experience may be like, and others may have an extremely idealized vision of living with a new roommate.  As a college parent, there are a few things that you might do to help your student prepare for this new experience.  This may provide a wonderful opportunity for some conversation with your student as you give her some things to think about and possibly help her explore her thoughts and expectations.

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Most college students head off to college these days with a computer.  Although a personal computer may not be absolutely necessary since most colleges have computer labs for student use, it is definitely a convenience to have your own computer.

There are arguments in favor of laptops and desktop computers, and your college student may need to consider which he prefers. Laptops certainly win the prize for portability, but desktops may be more secure and less expensive.  Your student should think carefully about how he plans to use his computer.  He should talk to other students who are planning to attend the school, as well as to students currently attending.  (He’s probably already chatting with them on facebook anyway.)  The college may also have an official recommendation from its technology center.

Check with the college about specific requirements and/or recommendations for computer specifications.  They know what has worked best in the past, and what they are able to support.   Consider their suggestions carefully. Some colleges may have a plan that provides a discount on computers purchased through them. Your student should also investigate whether the college supports both Mac and Windows operating systems before she makes a final choice.

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If your student is heading off to college for the first time, both you and your student are probably focused on what she needs to take with her.  Everyone is giving her suggestions.  She’ll see lists from the college, lists from her friends, lists from major retailers (of all of their products that she needs to purchase), lists in books and lists on-line.  You’ll overspend.  She’ll overpack.

We’re not suggesting that some of the things on those lists aren’t important. Look at all of the suggestions carefully and help your student think about her lifestyle, her needs and her priorities.  But amid all of the extra long sheets, the laundry bag or basket, the microwave, fridge, and matching comforters, there are four essentials that every college student really needs to be successful.  Make sure your student heads to college with these four things and she’ll be equipped for a good start to her college career.

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One of the truths of college parenting for many of us is that we worry about our college students.  We may worry a lot, or we may worry only a little.  We worry about our students’ health and safety, their ability to make friends, to make wise decisions and choices, to learn and get decent grades, to find their way around, to have fun and to be fulfilled.  Our concern is often the reason that we hover.

One of the things that often feels overwhelming to new college students is finding their way around a new campus.  Obviously, this is even more challenging at a large university than a small college, but even a relatively small campus can feel overwhelming and strange at first.  Remind your new college student to get a good campus map- and to spend some time looking at it.  He can probably find one on line and print it out.  This will help him to feel oriented even before he arrives on campus.

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Your soon-to-be college student may have received her first homework assignment well before she showed up on campus.  For many incoming freshman, their first assignment is a bit of summer reading. Your student may be asked to read an assigned book prior to Orientation, or she may be given the assignment at a Summer Orientation and asked to read the book before school begins in September.  At some schools students are given a copy of the book, while at other schools students are asked to purchase their own copy.

If your student was not expecting a summer assignment, he may be surprised – and even annoyed at having to do work over the summer.  As a parent, you may also be wondering why your student needs to get this “head start” before the first semester even begins.  Colleges have many different reasons for assigning summer reading and different approaches for dealing with the book once the students arrive on campus.

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Colleges and college parents have at least one thing in common – they want college students to succeed.  For some students, that success may depend on accommodations to help them accomplish their goals. If you think that your college student may need some alterations to his living or learning environment to be successful, then it is important that you understand the framework in which colleges operate concerning accommodations.  You may feel that you are already familiar with regulations if you have dealt with accommodations throughout your child’s academic career, but it is possible that there are variations on the college level.

Some students, and their parents, are familiar with the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), which may have governed how their elementary or high school handled their needs.  However, this act does not apply beyond secondary education.  At the college level, two laws affect legal rights and requirements.  The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 applies to every public and private institution except those affiliated with religious organizations.  The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 applies to any entity that accepts federal financial assistance for any program or service.  Both laws were enacted to prevent discrimination against individuals with disabilities.

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If the college acceptance letters have just begun to come in, congratulations!  You are now officially a college parent.  You are excited for your student, and possibly a bit overwhelmed for yourself.  You’re not sure what you should be thinking about, or doing, or how to help your student prepare for the next phase.

Here at College Parent Central we believe that the more information you have, the better you will be able to support your college student as he navigates his new experiences.  But the problem with lots of information is that it can feel overwhelming.  Here are a few posts that we think might be a good starting point.  You’ll want to read more specific information later, but if you’re a new college parent, these posts should help you think about your new role and help you get started on your journey.   Congratulations!

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