Category — Tips for Parents of College Students

Last holiday season we made some recommendations for some gift book suggestions for college students – or about to be college students.  Some of these books will help them navigate into, through, and beyond college.  We still think that they are good suggestions for holiday gifts for your college student.  Some of these books are just for fun, and some provide plenty of helpful hints for surviving college.  They cover everything from general advice to cooking, money management and career advice.  Check out our Recommended List of Gift Books and find something for your student.

This year, in addition to our book recommendations, we’d like to suggest a few other possible gift ideas for about-to-be college students, current college students, or almost-graduate college students.  Of course, you know your student best, and you know what may or may not interest him, but here are a few ideas to stimulate your imagination.

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As a college parent, or pre-college parent, you probably used the calendar diligently to watch the deadlines for college fairs and open houses, college applications, financial aid forms, deposit deadlines, and housing deadlines. Now that your student is actually in college, you may be thinking largely in terms of first and last days and breaks when your student will be home.

Hopefully, your college student is paying attention to important dates on the college calendar, and on his class syllabi, to keep track of his own important deadlines.  For parents, however, keeping an eye on the college calendar will help gather a sense of the rhythm of the college semester and year.  Taking note of important dates will help spark important conversations with your college student and give you a snapshot of some of his activities.

Your student’s college may send a copy of the year’s calendar home, but it is also almost always posted on the college’s website.  Many colleges update the online calendar frequently and include all of the activities happening on campus.  Try to make it a habit to check the calendar, and to use the information there to help you understand your student’s world.  Here are a few suggestions of things to watch for and think about.

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It is a natural thing for college parents to worry about the success of their student in college.  We hope for the best, mostly assume the best, and then we worry.  If your college student is a long distance away, or may have had some difficulties in high school, you worry even more.  Depending on what you and your college student have agreed is appropriate, you may be communicating with your student often (hopefully not too often!), or more infrequently (maybe once a week?).  When you do communicate, you listen carefully to what your student is saying – both directly and between the lines – and you try to determine how she is doing.

Obviously, all students are different – and the same student may seem very different or communicate differently at different times.  But there are some signs that you can watch and listen for that may indicate that your student is struggling with his college experience.  Nothing is foolproof, and you know your student best.  You will need to listen and observe carefully and try to determine whether something is the result of a mood or passing phase, or something more serious.  Be alert, especially, for multiple signs – and for behaviors that persist.  Remember to be patient and not to jump to quick conclusions.  College students, for the most part, are resilient.  What is a crisis today passes and may be fine in a day or two.  As a college parent, you should expect to see/hear some of these behaviors at times, but do recognize symptoms of trouble if you see several of the following indications that last.

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The summer before your student heads to college is a busy time.  There may be an orientation for your student, and for you.  There are things to buy for the new dorm room.  Your student may be contacting her roommate.  There are doctor and dentist appointments to make, forms to complete, financing to finalize.  Your student may or may not be busy packing, and you may be busy worrying about why she’s not packing yet.  And through it all, your student is busy trying to say goodbye to friends, and you are trying to come to terms with the fact that she’ll be gone.

Amid all of the flurry of preparations for leaving, there are some important decisions that you and your college student should make to anticipate potential issues later on.  If you spend some time this summer agreeing on these points, you won’t be taken by surprise when inevitable situations arise later.  You’ll know that you and your student are “on the same page”, and you may prevent difficulties later.  Here are eight things to discuss with your student before she leaves.

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As you pack the car and then move your college student into his dorm room or apartment, you may wish that he had less “stuff”.  Interestingly, when it comes time to move your student out of his dorm room or apartment, the “stuff” seems to have multiplied.  So why, then, might we suggest that you should teach your student to be more of a packrat and hold on to more things?  We are not suggesting that your student needs to hold on to everything.  Much of what your student accumulates during his college years can easily go by the wayside.  However, there are a few things that your student should be sure to save – at least until he has his diploma in hand.

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One of the exciting, and sometimes terrifying, aspects of the college experience is living with a roommate for the first time.  Most soon-to-be college students are anxious about beginning their residence hall experience.  Some students have thought carefully about what the experience may be like, and others may have an extremely idealized vision of living with a new roommate.  As a college parent, there are a few things that you might do to help your student prepare for this new experience.  This may provide a wonderful opportunity for some conversation with your student as you give her some things to think about and possibly help her explore her thoughts and expectations.

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It is inevitable that sometime during the four years that your student is at college he will get hurt or sick.  Colleges have health centers to care for students who are injured or sick, and the local emergency room is available for more serious crises.  However, there will be many times through the college years when your student may just need a bit of help for minor injuries or ailments.  A good first aid kit never substitutes for a sympathetic parent, but when your student is on his own, he will be grateful if he has the necessary tools to help himself.

Put together a first aid kit to send to college with your student.  Of course, you hope she’ll never need it, but she will, and when she does, she’ll appreciate that you planned ahead.  Here are a few things to include in your student’s kit.

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As a college parent, you may be looking forward to the summer months, and your student’s return home from college, with mixed emotions.  You’ve missed your student while she was away, and you are anxious to spend time with her again.  However, you recognize that she’s been on her own for months now, and you’re not sure what to expect.  Parents and students who worked hard to make the off-to-college transition, must now work at a new transition to living together once again.  There will be adjustments for everyone.

In addition to the adjustments that everyone will need to make regarding living together once again, college students may be faced with the question of what to do during these summer months.  Some students may have a job lined up – perhaps the same job that they had before they went away.  Others may still be unsure of what the next few months will bring.

Certainly, most students are looking forward to a well-deserved break from school work and routine.    However, this doesn’t mean that the summer months are not important, and hopefully productive, months for your college student.  After your student has had an opportunity to catch up on some sleep, eat a few home-cooked meals, and do some laundry, it may be time to have a conversation about a plan for the summer.

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For many college students and their parents, the finish line is in sight.  Commencement is just around the corner.  Students have worked hard to reach this final moment.  Parents have been patient (most of the time), have supported, have worried, have encouraged (or downright scolded), have paid tuition again and again, and have possibly had moments when they wondered if this time would ever come.

But the season of Commencement is finally here, with all of the ceremony and pomp and circumstance that accompany it.  Most college students have experienced a high school graduation, which may or may not have been as formal as college Commencement.  Some students, and their parents, may be wondering what to expect, and what the experience will be like.

The format of commencement may vary according to the nature of the school, the size of the class, the weather, the location, or the particular traditions of the institution.  However, many factors may be similar no matter where the ceremony occurs.  Commencement is seen as the capstone experience of the student’s academic career.  It is a dignified, formal occasion and marks the formal action of conferring and receiving academic degrees.  Degrees are conferred on the candidates by the presiding officer (usually the college president) after they have been recommended or presented by another official (often a dean or provost).

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If the college acceptance letters have just begun to come in, congratulations!  You are now officially a college parent.  You are excited for your student, and possibly a bit overwhelmed for yourself.  You’re not sure what you should be thinking about, or doing, or how to help your student prepare for the next phase.

Here at College Parent Central we believe that the more information you have, the better you will be able to support your college student as he navigates his new experiences.  But the problem with lots of information is that it can feel overwhelming.  Here are a few posts that we think might be a good starting point.  You’ll want to read more specific information later, but if you’re a new college parent, these posts should help you think about your new role and help you get started on your journey.   Congratulations!

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