Category — Supporting Your College Student

According to national statistics, the average for students graduating from college is now five years rather than four years.  Objectively, we may hear that statistic and find it moderately interesting.  However, when it is our college student who may take more than four years to complete his college education, we may become not only very interested, but alarmed.  We may have seen this coming or we may be taken by surprise.  We may understand the reasons or we may not.  We may consider the reasons sensible or we may find them ridiculous.  We may take the news in stride or we may be angry and upset.

If it becomes clear that your student will need more than the perceived “normal” four years to complete her college degree, you and she will probably need to have a conversation.  Whether the extra time is intentional or takes you both by surprise, you’ll need to make some plans that may include some strategizing and altering of financial or other considerations.  There are many factors that might cause a student to need extra time to complete a degree.  Understanding some of the factors may help you to realize what has happened, or may help you and your student anticipate or prevent a delay. Here are a few factors that might affect your student’s time to completion of her degree.

[Read more →]

Before your college student headed off to school, you may have had some good conversations about both her expectations and your expectations, and about both of your hopes – for grades, for money management, for behavior, or for other things important to both of you.  At the midpoint in the semester, or just a little past that point, both you and your student may be reevaluating how things are going.  Your student has settled in, more or less, has made some friends, has developed habits of behavior, and has likely received some midterm grades or indications of academic progress.

This is a good time to revisit some of your earlier conversations about hopes, dreams, and expectations.  Your college student has weathered tremendous transitions during the past few weeks.  He has had to adjust academically and socially, and he has had to create a place for himself in his new world.  You may have had lots of communication with your student in the past few weeks, and you may know exactly how things are going, or you may be wondering how the adjustment process has gone.  This is a good time to check in again with your student.

[Read more →]

It may come during a phone call.  It may come through an e-mail.  Or it may come during a visit home.  Your college student lets you know that he is changing his major.  Although some parents may quietly celebrate, for many other parents this is disconcerting, if not frightening, news.  The most important thing to remember is – don’t panic!

A change of major may be a small step, or it may be a giant leap.  Your student may have chosen her original major for many reasons – some better than others – and she may be changing for many reasons – some better than others.  It also matters what the majors are and when the change is happening.  Obviously, a change of direction in the first or second year of college is different than a shift during senior year.

It may help if parents understand that most college students, some studies suggest a figure as high as 80%, change their major at least once.  The average may be as high as changing majors three times during the college years. It also helps to consider why students may choose their majors in the first place.  According to a study conducted by NACE (National Association of Colleges and Employers), 66% of students choose their major based on a career in which they are interested, 12% say they “drifted” into a major, 9% say they were inspired by a particular teacher or professor, 7% chose a major based on earning potential, and 6% say they were influenced by friends and family.  Clearly many choices are being made for reasons other than following the student’s heart and mind.

[Read more →]

In our last post, we discussed some of the signs that parents might see or hear that may suggest that their college student is struggling at school.  As we suggested in that post, parents need to keep perspective and remember that college students are generally resilient and will adjust and bounce back.  However, sometimes problems may persist.  Parents find it difficult to know that their student may be having difficulty and do nothing.

If you’ve sensed that your student is struggling with her college experience – either academically or otherwise – here are a few suggestions of things you might consider.

[Read more →]

It is a natural thing for college parents to worry about the success of their student in college.  We hope for the best, mostly assume the best, and then we worry.  If your college student is a long distance away, or may have had some difficulties in high school, you worry even more.  Depending on what you and your college student have agreed is appropriate, you may be communicating with your student often (hopefully not too often!), or more infrequently (maybe once a week?).  When you do communicate, you listen carefully to what your student is saying – both directly and between the lines – and you try to determine how she is doing.

Obviously, all students are different – and the same student may seem very different or communicate differently at different times.  But there are some signs that you can watch and listen for that may indicate that your student is struggling with his college experience.  Nothing is foolproof, and you know your student best.  You will need to listen and observe carefully and try to determine whether something is the result of a mood or passing phase, or something more serious.  Be alert, especially, for multiple signs – and for behaviors that persist.  Remember to be patient and not to jump to quick conclusions.  College students, for the most part, are resilient.  What is a crisis today passes and may be fine in a day or two.  As a college parent, you should expect to see/hear some of these behaviors at times, but do recognize symptoms of trouble if you see several of the following indications that last.

[Read more →]

As a college parent, we want nothing more than for our college student to be successful in college.  Although that success may look slightly different to different parents and families, important measures of success for most of us are certainly competence, grades, happiness, and a job after college.

Students are responsible for their own behavior in college.  As parents, we have raised them and prepared them for their college journey.  We continue to be involved and to support our student, but she must make her own decisions and take responsibility for her actions.  Our role, as a college parent, changes.  However, as the coach on the sidelines, we can do much to suggest options to our student which will help guide her toward her success.  Some students may need more reminding and guiding than others, but students will make choices which will determine their path.

We’d like to suggest some choices and actions that you can encourage in your college student to help him increase his chances of a successful college experience.  Of course, there is no magic bullet, and sometimes even those students who make all of the right choices may hit rough patches, but these suggestions may help to guide your student toward success and increased confidence.  Encourage your student to consider some of the following.

[Read more →]

Your college student may never need to appeal any decision made by his college.  He may never find himself in a situation involving a dismissal from school, late withdrawal from a class, grade change, judicial decision, or other special circumstance.  If that is the case, good for your student!  However, a few students may feel that some policy or judicial decision should be reconsidered.  Those students may need to appeal the decision to the appropriate board or committee at the college.

Is an appeal wise?

Appealing a college decision is not always the best thing for your college student.  The purpose of an appeal is usually to allow the student to explain extenuating circumstances or to provide additional information that may not have been available at the time that the decision was made.  He may be able to demonstrate that some circumstance has changed – perhaps a health situation, work situation, family situation, or even a change of focus or field of study.  It is important that you and your student remember, however, that an appeal is meant as an exception and to demonstrate extraordinary circumstances.  It is not meant as an avenue simply because the student is unhappy with the decision of the college.  An appeal may not be in the best interest of the student. If nothing has changed, taking a break or accepting the decision may be in order.

[Read more →]

College parenting is difficult.  Anyone who has a student headed to college, in college, or recently out of college has realized just how difficult the college parenting job can be.  One of the most difficult things about this phase of parenting is feeling helpless at times as you watch your student struggle with something.  One of the times when we often see this happening is during that stressful end-of semester period. Parents may see and hear their student experiencing what appears to be a meltdown in response to the pressure and stress that occurs at the end of the semester.

We’ve written an earlier post about helping your student through that end-of-semester push.  Although we may often feel helpless, parents can be helpful and supportive in several ways.  In this post, we’d like to examine the end-of-semester stress a bit more closely.  It may be helpful for us, as parents, to be reminded of exactly what students are feeling and experiencing at this point in the college year.

What causes student stress?

The stress that students feel as the end of the semester nears is very real and is often overwhelming.  And this stress is felt by both the best students and struggling students alike.  Students often realize that there is more left to do than they realized.  They recognize that they may have procrastinated on some projects more than they thought.  They worry about deadlines, final papers, projects, presentations, and final exams.

[Read more →]

Colleges and college parents have at least one thing in common – they want college students to succeed.  For some students, that success may depend on accommodations to help them accomplish their goals. If you think that your college student may need some alterations to his living or learning environment to be successful, then it is important that you understand the framework in which colleges operate concerning accommodations.  You may feel that you are already familiar with regulations if you have dealt with accommodations throughout your child’s academic career, but it is possible that there are variations on the college level.

Some students, and their parents, are familiar with the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), which may have governed how their elementary or high school handled their needs.  However, this act does not apply beyond secondary education.  At the college level, two laws affect legal rights and requirements.  The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 applies to every public and private institution except those affiliated with religious organizations.  The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 applies to any entity that accepts federal financial assistance for any program or service.  Both laws were enacted to prevent discrimination against individuals with disabilities.

[Read more →]

As a society, we want to label each generation.  We’ve labeled generations as Baby Boomer, Generation X, and Millennial.  Some have labeled the current generation as Generation Apathetic.  Whether or not you think these labels apply globally, many of today’s current college students are apathetic about their college experiences.  They see college as a phase through which they must move or an archaic pre-requisite for getting a job. They see college as a “spectator sport” which should require little of them. They approach college with a consumer mentality or market thinking – they see education as a product which their (or your) tuition dollars are purchasing.  They are interested in a fast, cheap, degree.

These are some tough accusations.

Of course, there are many students who do not fit into any of the above categories.  They are engaged, active, and truly vested in their education.  They want to get the most that they can from their education, and they want to contribute to the world.  Unfortunately, however, there are more students who suffer from apathy than we may realize.  As a parent, you might consider whether your student fits into this category at all – and whether you can help him adjust his thinking.

[Read more →]