Category — College Academics

This is the third of three posts about college students asking for help.  In our first post we considered why students sometimes have difficulty asking for help. Our second post looked at who students might turn to for help. In this post we’ll consider how students can most effectively seek the help they need.

Many high school students planning to go to college spend a lot of their time reviewing vocabulary words for their SAT College Board exam.  They learn big words, important words, roots of words, and definitions.  But if your college student is going to succeed in college, there may be one important word that he needs that never shows up on his entrance exam.  It may be the most important word that he can use in college.  What is that word?  “Help.”

Your student is very likely to need help at some point in his college career.  Hopefully, you’ve helped him understand that it is important to seek the help that he needs and encouraged him get past possible barriers to seeking that help.  Your student has worked to learn what is available to him on campus and thought about the most appropriate source of help for his problem.  Now your student needs to think about how to most effectively ask for that help.

Asking for help is often very difficult for students.  For many of the reasons that we discussed in our first post, students are reluctant to seek help.  However, even if your student understands that he needs to ask, actually approaching professors or college staff members may be intimidating.  This can be especially true if your student has missed some classes, or has any other reason to be concerned about what the professor or staff member may think of him.  Having a plan for the appointment may help your student to anticipate what might happen and to feel he has more control over the encounter.

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This is the second of three posts about college students asking for help.  In our first post we considered why students sometimes have difficulty asking for help. In this post we’ll look at who students might turn to for help and in Part 3 we’ll consider how students can most effectively seek the help they need.

Many high school students planning to go to college spend a lot of their time reviewing vocabulary words for their SAT College Board exam.  They learn big words, important words, roots of words, and definitions.  But if your college student is going to succeed in college, there may be one important word that he needs that never shows up on his entrance exam.  It may be the most important word that he can use in college.  What is that word?  “Help.”

One of the first steps in encouraging your college student to ask for help when he needs it is helping him understand some of the factors that may be holding him back from seeking what he needs.  Once he works his way past those barriers, however, it is important that he know what help is available to him.  We’ve written earlier posts about helping your student find support on campus.  It is important that your student know when he needs to ask for help and know where to find that help on campus.

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This is the first of three posts about college students asking for help.  In this post we’ll consider why students sometimes have difficulty asking for help, in Part 2 we’ll look at who students might turn to for help and in Part 3 we’ll consider how students can most effectively seek help.

Many high school students planning to go to college spend a lot of their time reviewing vocabulary words for their SAT College Board exam.  They learn big words, important words, roots of words, and definitions.  But if your college student is going to succeed in college, there may be one important word that he needs that never shows up on his entrance exam.  It may be the most important word that he can use in college.  What is that word?  “Help.”

As a parent, helping your child understand early in her educational career that asking for help is important may be one of the best lessons that you can teach. This lesson might start in elementary school – or even at home earlier than that.  As a college parent, it is important that you reinforce that message.  As one college professor has stated, “Asking for help is the new smart!” Help your college student understand the importance and necessity of asking for help and advocating for herself.

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Winter break is an important time for college students to recharge their batteries, earn some extra cash, take an extra course, catch up with friends and family, and perhaps just enjoy some down-time.  Your college student will probably be glad, at least for a while, to have a break from college and from thinking about classes and responsibilities.

However, while most students are on break during at least part of the month of January, most college offices are open and working.  January might be an ideal time for your student to take care of any items that need to be addressed with college offices before other students are back on campus.  For some departments, the time while students are off campus is quieter.  Your student can avoid the beginning-of-semester rush and perhaps get more attention than he will once all of the students have returned. [Read more →]

Your college student has completed his first semester of college.  Congratulations!  Hopefully, it was a good semester, but there’s a chance it might not have been.  A rocky first semester is not unusual for many first year students.  But whether or not the semester was as successful as you and your student had hoped, having the first semester under your belt is a milestone on the college path.

As your student prepares for his second semester of college, this is a good time for you both to take stock, think about the past semester, and to create a plan for the fresh start that a new semester brings.

Returning to college for the second semester may loom large for some students.  Beginning college for the first semester is stressful, but exciting.  Everything is new, students look forward to their independence, opportunities to make new friends, and the new experiences that a new environment will bring.  Returning for the second semester may mean that your student needs to make some changes, break some habits, sharpen some skills, or get out of a possible rut.  This time, your student knows what’s ahead and knows some of the challenges he may face.

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In our last post, we suggested that one question that your student should ask every semester is “Am I on track to graduate in four years?”  If your student is not definitively able to answer this question for himself, he should find someone who can help him find the information that he needs to be able to evaluate whether he is on track.  As a college parent, it is important that you encourage your student to ask the question and find the answer, but it is not your job to answer the question.  With your encouragement, or perhaps insistence, your student needs to take ownership of his college career.

Asking the question, “Am I on track . . .” at least once each semester will help your student know how he is progressing.  He’ll need to consider his progress in accomplishing required credits, completing all college requirements, completing requirements for his major, maintaining a satisfactory GPA, and completing any additional curricular or extracurricular college requirements.

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Good college students recognize that asking questions – the right questions – is an important part of the learning process.  Sometimes asking just the right question, at just the right time, of just the right person, can make the difference between success and failure.  If your college student is interested in graduating from college in four years, there is an important question that he should be asking at least once every semester: “Am I on track to graduate in four years?”

Nationally, only 37% of college students graduate in four years.  The trend is for the majority of students to take at least five years to complete their degree.  Colleges now calculate their graduation rates based on the number of students who complete their degree in six years.  So the question of being on track is an important one.

For many students, a five-year or six-year plan may make sense.  Some students know at the time that they enter college that they will need longer to complete their degree.  They may need a reduced course load, they may have full time or part time jobs or family responsibilities, they may have significant outside or extracurricular activities that take a priority.  But for those students who enter college intending and hoping to finish in four years, taking ownership of their progress is essential.

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As many college students pass the mid-point in their semester, they begin to realize that the final results of the term may not be good.  This is a point in the term when some students give up.  They may decide to withdraw from a class or drop out of college entirely; or they may simply drift through the rest of the term and wait for the inevitable dismissal.  Some students, however, wonder whether they can salvage something from the term to build on later.

If your student is struggling at this point, and is willing to share his situation with you, it will be important that you be able to help him value his mistakes and think about what to do – both immediately and more long term.

First, it will be important that your student decide whether or not he wants to salvage anything.  He may not, and that may prompt a different conversation.  But if he wants to try, you may need to help him think about whether it is possible and what to do. Many students in this situation feel that they have lost control of what is happening in their lives.  The following plan may help them begin to take control once again.

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Hopefully, your college student has a good working relationship with her class professors. The relationship between a college student and her professors, in addition to the formal teaching done in the classroom, is often an important mentoring opportunity.   Of course, having a good relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that each professor will be on your student’s list of favorite people, but hopefully, she has at least found how to make each course work.

But what does your student do if things go wrong with his professor?  What if he has a serious problem that seems to be getting in the way of his success in a course?  What does he do then? Perhaps he picks up the phone and calls home.  This would be a good time to provide that important listening ear, and perhaps some sympathy, but it is definitely not the time to pick up the phone and call anyone at school.  This is an important time to help your student think through the situation, consider his alternatives, and create a plan of action.

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College is a time of learning – both in and outside of the classroom.  College students will make mistakes and most will learn from those mistakes.  Wise students and their parents recognize that mistakes are part of the learning curve, and they respect and tolerate those mistakes.  As college parents, however, we hope that our students will not make mistakes that will have a negative impact on their college career.

As a parent, you may want to anticipate and watch for these nine potential decisions and talk to your student about his choices.  Remember, however, that although you may alert your student to these pitfalls, he will ultimately need to make his own decisions – and live with the consequences – but that he will learn from experience.

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