Category — Campus Life

Roommate conflict is unavoidable.  Although, as parents, we hope that our college student will get along perfectly with his college roommate, it is an unrealistic hope.  Whenever individuals live closely together, some amount of conflict is inevitable.  Actually, a little bit of conflict is not necessarily a bad thing.  Students learn important skills as they learn to handle issues with their roommates.

However, even when we realize that some degree of conflict may be inevitable, and may possibly have beneficial effects, we hope that any conflict will be minimal.  There are some things, short of giving in on everything and putting up with anything, that students can do to minimize the issues that may arise between roommates.  If this is your student’s first time sharing a room and/or living with a larger group of people in close quarters, you may increase your student’s chances of having a good experience by helping her to think through some of the issues that might come up and how she will handle them. In an earlier post, we considered some things that your student might do to prepare for life with a roommate.  In this post, we’ll look at what your student might do to reduce conflict and how to handle inevitable conflict when it occurs.  In an upcoming post, we’ll examine some actual positive benefits of dealing with some conflict.

Here are a few things that your college student might consider to reduce potential conflict.

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One of the exciting, and sometimes terrifying, aspects of the college experience is living with a roommate for the first time.  Most soon-to-be college students are anxious about beginning their residence hall experience.  Some students have thought carefully about what the experience may be like, and others may have an extremely idealized vision of living with a new roommate.  As a college parent, there are a few things that you might do to help your student prepare for this new experience.  This may provide a wonderful opportunity for some conversation with your student as you give her some things to think about and possibly help her explore her thoughts and expectations.

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It is inevitable that sometime during the four years that your student is at college he will get hurt or sick.  Colleges have health centers to care for students who are injured or sick, and the local emergency room is available for more serious crises.  However, there will be many times through the college years when your student may just need a bit of help for minor injuries or ailments.  A good first aid kit never substitutes for a sympathetic parent, but when your student is on his own, he will be grateful if he has the necessary tools to help himself.

Put together a first aid kit to send to college with your student.  Of course, you hope she’ll never need it, but she will, and when she does, she’ll appreciate that you planned ahead.  Here are a few things to include in your student’s kit.

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There is a lot of focus on the new college student and both the student’s and parents’ transition to the world of college.  Entering college is a major life experience for both the first-year student and for his parents.  Underestimating the enormity of that shift may cause difficulties, so colleges run orientation sessions for both students and parents, authors write books for both students and parents, and colleges run special programming for first year students.

However, once students get past that first year of college they are often on their own.  Students are expected to have settled in and “know how to play the game”, and parents are often more comfortable with the idea of their student being away and navigating the world of college.  Unfortunately, some students do experience a sophomore slump in spite of a good first year experience and in spite of parental and college efforts to prepare them for the differences and changing expectations.

We’d like to offer a list of seven things that your returning student (sophomore, junior or senior) might want to consider to give a new focus for his year and to raise the level of his college experience.

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Tutoring can make the difference of academic success for many students.  Having a tutor can mean that a student has a stronger grasp of the course material and may receive a better grade.  Most of us understand why a student may want to get a tutor.

However, we may wonder why a student might want to become a tutor.  Of course, some students may become a tutor for some extra income, but tutoring is time-consuming and requires hard work, preparation, and effort.  Why would your student want to become a peer tutor to help other students with their coursework?

There are actually many benefits of tutoring – for the tutor as well as for the tutee.  [Read more →]

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One of the truths of college parenting for many of us is that we worry about our college students.  We may worry a lot, or we may worry only a little.  We worry about our students’ health and safety, their ability to make friends, to make wise decisions and choices, to learn and get decent grades, to find their way around, to have fun and to be fulfilled.  Our concern is often the reason that we hover.

One of the things that often feels overwhelming to new college students is finding their way around a new campus.  Obviously, this is even more challenging at a large university than a small college, but even a relatively small campus can feel overwhelming and strange at first.  Remind your new college student to get a good campus map- and to spend some time looking at it.  He can probably find one on line and print it out.  This will help him to feel oriented even before he arrives on campus.

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The reality these days is that most college students will work while they are going to school.  The cost of tuition is high – and climbing.  In some families, parents may bear all, or a majority of the costs of college, but the majority of students are expected to contribute to expenses.  Students may contribute to tuition and fees, or they may be responsible for earning their own spending money.

Most college students have summer jobs which help them to earn some of their income, but many students know that they will need to work while going to school.  If your student will be working during the school year, he will first need to decide whether to try to find a job on campus or off campus.  There are advantages on both sides.  Your student may have been offered Federal Work Study as part of his financial aid package.  If so, he will be looking for a qualifying job on campus.  Not all campus jobs qualify for work-study funding, so he should be sure to ask.

If your student decides to look for a campus job, she may feel that she will have few options.  Of course, the number of options will depend on the size of the school, but there may be more choices available than your student realizes.  Encourage her to start her search early – possibly checking listings on-line over the summer.  Campus jobs may be in high demand, and priority often goes to upperclass students.

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College parenting begins, for many parents, during the application and admission process.  We help keep track of deadlines, we arrange college visits, we support through the SAT exams, we read admissions essays, and we support our students through the acceptance wait and the final decision.  Then we enter the next phase of helping our student get ready to head to college and make the transition.  We know our role changes during the many phases of the college years, but we assume that we’ll settle in and enjoy the ride – even if there are a few bumps along the way.

However, for an increasing number of students, the college experience may come with a certain amount of disappointment, disillusionment and dissatisfaction. Things simply may not be working.   Students may turn to parents once again to help decide what to do next.  For some students, the problem may be in making the adjustment to college life or in being unprepared for the experience.  For others, academics are overwhelming and help is needed. Still other students may question whether they made the “right” choice of college or major.  They may feel that a change will help.

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College dorms are not what they used to be.  In fact, at many colleges and universities, they are no longer referred to as dormitories, but are residence halls.  Dormitory sounds too old fashioned and austere.  Most college residence halls today are anything but austere.

When students and parents take college tours, one of the first things that they ask to see is a typical college room.  Colleges boast about the living arrangements and amenities in their residence halls.  Clearly, living arrangements are important – and they should be.  The college residence hall may serve as your student’s home for four years.  You want your student to be comfortable and happy.  You are paying a lot of money, not only for the education your student will receive, but also for his comfortable living arrangement.

So how, then, could a dorm room be too comfortable?  It’s not the comfort itself that is a problem, it’s the fact that the dorm room may be so comfortable and convenient that your student may not want to, or need to, leave.  College packing lists remind you to be sure to purchase and bring all of the things your student will need – not only the sheets and towels and desk lamp, but the stereo or i-pod speakers, the TV, the microwave, refrigerator and computer.

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Many high school students participate in numerous extracurricular activities.  For some high school students, these extracurricular activities are what keep them active and interested in school.  Many high school students participate in extracurricular activities because they reflect their true interests.  Some high school students, however, participate in extracurricular activities because they know that college will consider these activities when they review their admission applications.

Once these high school students reach college, they may feel that they no longer “need” to participate in extracurricular activities.  However, participation in activities outside of the classroom may prove to be equally as important as what happens in the classroom.   Most colleges express the mission to develop the whole student, to take a holistic approach to helping the student become a well-rounded, mature individual.  Colleges recognize that much of this process happens outside of the classroom.

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